Let's Talk About It

I Read A Hateful Letter And Answer With My Story

• Derick

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I talk about what “preference” actually means—and what it doesn’t. I don’t put anyone on a pedestal; I look for character, kindness, and the ability to resolve conflict without turning life into a battlefield. We get into authenticity versus social media personas, why natural connection beats curated image, and how jealousy shows up in every culture if we let insecurity steer. I share why I won’t start fights to prove loyalty, won’t read phones to satisfy suspicion, and won’t mortgage my sanity to keep up with material demands. If a relationship needs surveillance to survive, it’s already starving for trust.

If this episode sparked a thought, share it with a friend, subscribe for more real talk, and leave a review with your take—do you think trust is built by proof or by practice? Your comments shape future topics and the live forum we’re planning next.

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SPEAKER_01:

Trying to get another platform my screens are not cooperating. How's everybody doing out there? Y'all doing all right? Y'all good.

SPEAKER_00:

Silly ass cat.

SPEAKER_01:

Let's let y'all groove with that for a little bit. We're gonna get this show started. Sorry, I'm just working on another. Um, so we're streaming on two platforms. The other one is not cooperating with me just yet, but we'll worry about that later because I have another show to do later on today. In any event, want to welcome y'all to the show. I am the icon. The show is let's talk about it. So today, first off, how's everybody doing out there? Everybody doing alright? Damn it. Sorry, phone. Notifications down, sweeting it down to the get down. In any event, how's everybody doing out there? Y'all doing alright? Y'all have a good week? Not a fantastic week. It's work. The holidays are right around the corner, which sucks. But hey, it is what it is. You gotta do what you gotta do, right? So my week was good, you know, just work. Um going through a lot of these letters that I get via email. It's not easy to go through the ones you want to kind of pick and choose, but you want to try to make sure everybody gets priority and try to read the ones that's that you can get to. So, but it's all good. So, we have a letter that kind of stood out to me, which again I'm not opposed to anything. If you like me, you like me. If you hate me, you hate me. And that's pretty much what this letter is today that is going to be about. Now, I don't bash women, I don't, and I don't discredit any woman, and it's fine if you come for me because I can take it. I'm a big boy. I'm not gonna cry or spill milk, I'm not gonna go on a crash out on social medias or nothing like that because it's not what I do. I mean, like I said, when you send me a letter via email or wherever, um, I will read it. I'm not gonna sugarcoat anything, I don't need to sugarcoat anything. My feelings can't be hurt. There's only one way you can hurt my feelings, and that would be about my family, because I don't play about my family. Now, predominantly my kids, if you go there with my kids and we have an issue, so then I got to spend countless hours hacking your shit, trying to find out where the fuck you are and getting at you. Now I'm just joking, I don't do that anymore. I don't do that anymore, but real talk. So this letter that came to me from I think she. Um when they send letters, and again, you can remain anonymous. I think this person shows remain anonymous, but this person clearly thinks they say they know me, but maybe they do, maybe they don't. I don't know, don't really care. But I will read this letter. This letter is going to be entitled You Bastard. Yes, that is directed towards me on the show called Let's Talk About It. So, without further ado, here we go. Icon, I don't like you. It starts off like that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it does, yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_01:

Like I said, when I get these letters, I transfer them straight over to Word, and then hopefully Word gets all the words right. If they do, they do, they don't, they don't. But in any event, I don't like you. I hate you, your show. I think the advice you give is probably not good but bad. You talk like the women of the Philippines are the only women in the world. I've heard past shows and you clearly put them over your own kind. I think you're a lonely man that can't really handle a real woman in the USA. So that's why you had to go to the Philippines to find and control women there because you're a weak little man that is clearly up that clearly isn't up for the challenge of a real woman. I heard what you keep saying about the women in the US, and it's not true. Maybe you didn't try hard enough or just can't satisfy a woman's needs. It's men like you that make it hard for a strong black woman like me to find a good man. I think you should re-evaluate yourself as a man and try to figure out if you're a boy or a boy trying to prove himself a man. Because clearly what I've seen is a scared little boy. I'm so sick of seeing my black men run to all the cultures because they can't handle us black women. We are strong, always endured a lot of shit when it comes to men like you. I'm just tired of it. So before you So before you just before you just me let me tell you who I am. I'm a single woman by choice. Every man that I've encountered always says that I need to chill and stop trying to control everything. And the truth is I don't, but I like things a certain way. And if he can't adjust to my needs, then what good is he? I'm so freaking tired of men saying they need a real woman, but can't handle a real woman. Yes, I'm a diva. I like my hair and nails done every chance I get. I like to be pampered. I enjoy the finer things in life. I know men like you couldn't give me anything like that, can you? So it seems like every man I dated has ran to the opposite race, whether it's white, Mexican, Asian, or whatever, whatever the hell they are. I just know I hate the fact that you talk about Filipino women like they're the only woman in the damn world. And clearly you are so one-sided that you're freaking that you're a freaking joker man. I follow you, and you're not that interesting to me, but I would give, but but I would have given you a chance, but you seem to have the type that doesn't involve black women. But don't you worry about it, somebody wants me. I hope that when people hear what I have to say and they think differently about you, and that they understand that they can make their own choices and not have some sad ass excuse of a man trying to get everyone to be with a Filipino woman. I mean, you're not even that popular on IG TikTok, so clearly nothing. I don't even think you have a huge following. I have over 1.5 followers on TikTok. Haha. And my IG is 3k. But I won't show you because you don't deserve to see it. And all I can say is that I am well liked and you're a small man with issues with black females. So you keep doing your little show because I'm sure it will go nowhere. But hey, what do I care? I'll listen to your your sad ass shows, and I'll listen to about 10 of your sad ass shows. By the 15th, I've had enough. I will say to this icon, maybe you should give us black women a chance before you decide to jump ship to another culture, you bastard. I emailed this person for a response, but there was no response. So, as I said before, um, I encourage these letters. I am not ashamed of who I am or what I stand for. Now, I don't think in my past shows I've ever bashed any black females. I come from a black female mother, my sisters are black. These are my experiences, so I'm gonna assume that this young lady that is clearly pissed off with me because I choose to date Filipino. Now, I don't go on every podcast episode and share the thoughts about you know how Filipino are better women than the women here. I did not say that. So I think this young lady, and I don't want to say she's disturbed because it's not my place to put her down. She can put me down all she wants. You can say things like, I mean, basically what you just said. Now, I choose to date a Filipino woman because, yes, after my wife died, my wife of 26 years, who gave me six beautiful children, was biracial, was half black and half Italian, and who I love dearly, and we were together since high school. I tried, I really did. I tried when I went to seek therapy, and as I said before in previous shows, that when I went to sync therapy, and my therapist said just get out there, not really date, but just to find friends. I tried that. I tried that. There was a young lady that we knew from our neighborhood who I had no absolute interest in. We were neighbors, she knows my parents, she knows my people. I decided to ask if she wants to go out for breakfast or lunch, not dinner, because dinner is more like constitutes a date. Breakfast and lunch is like, oh okay, just a friendly thing, get up and do whatever. As I said before, she didn't respond to none of my texts because why? She told my mom that I thought he was gonna try to date me. No, I've never tried to date her. I know she has a dude. Well, supposedly had a dude. He was I don't know. But I there's nothing disturbing about this letter because it doesn't even get me mad. It doesn't. I'm not afraid of black women, I've dated plenty of black women. Now, it is my choice to date who I want to date because that's who I want to date. And for this person to say that she would or wouldn't give me a chance. Okay, that's listen, I don't understand what the fixation is about black men going to other cultures. Now, this is my experience. My experience, nobody else's, my experience. And if I'm wrong, feel free to email me, or you can even chime in on chat and say that I'm wrong. Ooh, I love my bait. You can feel free to chime in on chat and hi Liliana 3333, I see you there. But I don't have an issue with no black women, I don't. Now, it's just the ones that I've came across who I thought were genuine were clearly not genuine. Now, I've been told plenty of times I'm not hood enough, I'm not gangster enough, or if you have a lot of mouth, you expect me to step in and uh defend your honor if you're in the wrong. Okay, so if you start some shit, you want me to finish that shit. That's not who I am. I don't like drama, I don't do drama. So in the past I've dated plenty of black women, plenty of beautiful black women. Now, I've even dated a woman from my church who I thought might have been the one, but you know what happened? And I thought she was the one because our families we were good friends and we had a connection like no other. Well, turns out I wasn't her connection, you know. I clearly wasn't hood enough. And what I mean by hood is that she wanted a a disrespectful person. It doesn't matter if you're black or white, it doesn't matter. She wanted the person, the type of person that's a thug and that you know did bad things. I don't understand that, you know. So it's not for me to say and judge what you like or what you want, but I know what I like and what I want. I am a simple man. I'm not rich, I'm average, I work two jobs. It's been that way for me forever. But make no mistake about it, any woman that I've ever dated, I've treated them with respect, and nine times out of ten, I'm the one that gets burned. I get burned, or I'm the one that's saying that um, or they're the ones that's saying that I'm not good enough for them, or I've dated a preacher's daughter, and that didn't work out the way I thought it was because it turns out I was the cover for the other boyfriend. So I'd come around, I would visit, and we would go out, but unbeknownst to me, the side dude, not the side dude, the guy that she was truly interested in was the one she wanted to be with. So I caught wind of that. Now, just because I have a lot of bad experiences with black women doesn't mean I discredit all black women. I don't. There are a lot of good black women out there. There are. The bad thing is in this year and age, they are hard to find because usually they're with the wrong person, and you don't want to try to break up a happy home. That's not who I am. I'm not this guy that's gonna put myself on the auction block and be like, oh, well, you should come be with me, you know, because he's not doing you right or he's not treating you right. Hang on, I'm gonna get something to drink. But that's not me. That's not who I am now. It just so happens that I don't know, maybe it's in my blood. I don't I don't really know. I don't give up on black women, I don't. But I don't understand if you can write me this letter while you're mad at me for dating a Filipino, it's not like I put them on a higher pedal stool because in truth and actuality, all women are all men, they cheat. It is just by my experience that when I went to the site and found this particular woman, it kind of worked out and it clicked well. And yes, we've had relationship problems as well as every relationship does. There's no perfect relationship whatsoever, none. So I don't care how you categorize it, there's none, but that's the part of being in a relationship. You're gonna have some growing pains, you're going to have some ups and downs. So do I trust her? I do. Can I trust her more over there than I can someone over here? Yes, why? Because she's just that way. That's just me. Now, I've dated. Um, I've had some interracial relationships here, but unbeknownst to me, that some of the women I've dated, their fathers didn't seem to believe in the interracial relationship dating. Now they're much more of a daddy's girl, and they want to stay loyal to their father. There was one girl who I dated who I loved, who I thought we were gonna be with. Her mother was cool with it, but her father just did not believe, and I've never met the father. He just thought that every race should stay with every race. And to this day, I don't know. Um, I think her father passed, God rest his soul, but that doesn't deter the hate in my heart. So I think that you coming at me like this is just saying that you're angry at yourself, but you're not angry with me. I don't even know you. You won't even give me your information to your TikTok or IG. I'm not the kind of guy that's gonna go on there and put you on blast because that's not what I do. That's not what I do. I don't have shit to hide. I don't. I'm just me. If you want to come at me and say all this and you'd like to find out things like that, that's fine. But let me ask you this. Women often say they want a real man, but then they're not 100% real about themselves. And what I mean by that is that if you give if we're giving you who exactly who we are, then why are you living a separate life than what you're trying no, hold on, why are you living two different lives? Like, back in my day, and I don't mean no disrespect towards any woman that's listened to this podcast or that's that's viewing me live on the show. Back in my day, women were just so genuine. Oh my god, the hair, the makeup, the everything. Now it's like since the dawn of social media, we're trying to be somebody that we're not, and that's not me. I don't try to be somebody I'm not because I don't want to be somebody I'm not. It's 10 times harder to try to be somebody that you are trying to be rather than just being yourself. It really is, it's exhausting, it's exhausting, it's tiresome, and I don't see how you can keep with that appearance. But when we say when women say they want a real man, but when we get home, you turn to something totally different. I want an all-natural woman. I don't mind a little makeup, but my wife, God rest her soul, we were married for 26 years. Um, we were dating longer than that. Well, not longer than that, about the same. No, we came straight out of high school. So we were together for we were married for 26 years, we're probably together for three years in high school. The thing I loved about my wife is that she was all natural, she didn't need makeup to look beautiful. Now, she was not uh a high maintenance person. I loved her for who she was. Even when she got pregnant with six of my kids and she said she fell on weight, I didn't see that. I saw a beautiful woman who I loved and who I fell in love with, and I still seen that. And when she left me, it kind of hurt, you know, because it was unexpected, and I didn't know how to cope with that. But my wife was one of the realest ones that I have ever met, and I was with my wife because I fell in love with her. She didn't know how to cook, I taught her how to cook, and she became a better cook than me. So, and she gave me six beautiful children who I love, who I love to death. So I think the better part of my years was spending with the black woman, even though she was biracial, but she was more black than well, maybe she was a little bit both because she was half Italian. But she didn't really have didn't didn't need a lot of makeup, you know, she didn't have the hair extended, she would get her hair done, but that's with the understanding that we were working together as a couple. See, here's the other thing. You say in your letter that you're a single woman by choice. Well, I can't refute what you're saying because what you're saying is probably true. You're probably a single woman, but you like to. If you say you have if you have men that always say that you need to stop and chill, well, I think you're being a little bit too aggressive. I think you're wanting to put too much pressure on a man, then rather than just let him be himself. And I get it, we all want somebody, not that we can control that somebody that is on our same level. But I got news for you. When you're dating somebody, they're not gonna always be on your level. You're with that person because of their specific unique characteristics, their quality, that the way they do things, the way they are, the way they act, the way they navigate life. That's why you're with them. So I think you're being, and it's nothing wrong with wanting the finer things. And you say you like to be pampered, that's fine. I've got no problem with that. I would send flowers to my wife and I would take care of my wife. I'm not sure how much pamper you're talking about because if you want your hair and nails done, that's fine. I've got no problem with that. You know, women like to look beautiful. That's no, that's but the thing that I kind of draw the line is that I don't have a problem with women looking beautiful. I just think that you put too much on to try to cover up the natural beauty, and you don't need to change what God has already given you or what's already you don't need to enhance that. If you're beautiful, be beautiful. But and this goes for every race. I'm not just singing out black women because white women, y'all do it too. I don't get the fascination about the nails. I don't. I don't get the fascination about the nails or the hair. The nails I think should be maybe here. Can y'all see that? Maybe right to there. But when you got nails, it's like fucking Wolverine claws, and that you know you gotta worry about if you're you're gonna go out and maul somebody. I mean, damn, really? I mean, who needs them kind of nails? I work with the chick and she's on a register and she has these these nails that are like out there. I'm like, how in the hell do you operate this thing with these nails on? And it's like Wolverine claws or Freddy Kruger claws on both hands, like wow. Jesus. But I don't have a problem with that. I mean, it's just not me. I can't date a woman that, you know, knowing that I'm gonna go to sleep and I might wake up, you know, getting clawed up to death because I'm thinking I'm having a bad dream, but really it's her, you know, flipping, tossing and turning, and she's sleeping kind of wild, and you know, I'm waking up like I'm in a bad nightmare, like I'm in nightmare on M Street or something. But I'm saying I don't understand that. I don't now I can understand if the nails are like maybe this this, I don't I don't know. This is just me. It's just me. So I don't see how women drive, I don't see how they do a lot of stuff. Because I mean, there was back in the day there was a Guinness World Book of Record, but that wasn't here though. I think that was over some other country, but that's their culture. But in any event, I don't have a problem with that. Your hair, I like a woman with all natural hair. I do. If you got to put on bushels of hair, and the crazy thing is, there's nothing wrong with spending that kind of money on your appearance if you're gonna enhance yourself, enhance yourself to make yourself look more real, not like a plastic uh made-up doll that a kid can play with, because y'all have hair that's coming all the way down to your feet, and I get the obsession because in other cultures that's their culture. So, and yes, Filipinos do have long hair, and that's not why I'm attracted to the one I'm attracted to. I'm attracted to this young lady because of her qualities and her characteristics. Now, as I said before, I'm not a man that has money, I am an average person who takes care of his family, who takes care of his kids, who loves his family, and who loves the idea of just being happy. Now, I will send you flowers, I will do things for you, but I won't go broke um trying to make you happy. That's just not something I do. I don't care because if I'm doing all this for you, who's to say you're not getting it from someplace else? Am I right or am I wrong? Could be. Anybody in the chat want to repeat that? So I can sit here honestly and say that I have tried to give women in the US a lot of chances. It doesn't matter what race you are, you can be black, white, Asian, um, Mexican, whatever. The problem is is the problem of social media. You can't really see who's real or not because as social media dictates, as this lady has dictated to me that I don't have a lot of followers. I don't do this for follows. I don't do this for likes. I do this because I enjoy talking about it. I mean, I'm not out here trying to promote myself as this proprietor of of the Philippines. I'm not. I enjoy the culture, I like the culture, I like the atmosphere over there. That's because I've never been there before. I haven't. If I could, I would go to another country. But so far I've been to the Philippines. I like what they had to offer. I like the women there. I like the food there. I like the culture there. It's sad because their economy is not worth a damn, but still. But I don't talk about them. I only talk about them if somebody wants my advice. And nine times out of ten, I give them that advice.

SPEAKER_00:

Hang on.

SPEAKER_01:

And when I give them that advice, it's up to them to take that advice. Now I know in the past I've gotten a lot of flack from uh women saying that, you know, my boyfriend has gone to a Filipino woman, I blame you. You can't blame me for your screw-ups. That means if you're not doing something in your relationship, and here's the other thing I think men are genuinely tired of the bickering, the arguing, the nonsense, uh bullshit that some women put us through. Now, I get it, hold on, hold on, I get it. Men do the same to women when they cheat, they lie. Or the the infamous thing, the cell phone. I don't get why would you look at each other's cell phone? When I was in the Philippines, I did not look at my girl's cell phone not once. Why? Because I trust her. Eventually, if you look in your spouse's cell phone, you're gonna find something that you don't like. A cell phone to me is like a confessional, it's private. You know, you go do things on the cell phone that you would go talk to a uh priest about or a counselor about. Now, um, I'm not saying men are blameless in this because men are totally, I think it I think it shared 50-50. Men put women through a lot and women put men through a lot, but nobody probably puts worse men women through a lot than just men. And I can agree with that, I can understand that. Because men sometimes have a lot of bad intentions, and women, we get a little bit jealous when we shouldn't be. I mean, if a chick says hi to you in traffic, you all up in her car, like, well, why is she saying hi to you? She's at the next car over. What the hell? I just looked over and she said hi. It's not like you know, oh, you know her now. No, I don't know her. She just said hi. We're sitting in bumper to rush out of traffic, and we're like, oh my god, I can't believe this is happening. Make it seem like she's gonna come get in the car. Listen. So I think women, I think every time a woman says hi to us, you guys feel threatened, and there's no need to feel threatened because if a woman is just saying hi to us, like whether she's at a restaurant, hi on your server, or whether she's just passing by on the street, it's not like she's you know gunning for your position. Unless they truly know each other, which nine times out of ten, they maybe they don't.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, and here's what I will say about the women in the Philippines they are some very jealous women, very jealous women, jealous.

SPEAKER_01:

Because you can't go over there and talk to a woman without getting the third degree. So, American women and Filipino women, y'all might share that same characteristic. Because when I was in the Philippines for the first time, and I was at the seashore by the Bay Park or whatever, there was a young girl that came up to me, and I think I told y'all this story before, but whatever I'm gonna tell it to you again. And there was a young girl that came up to me and she was selling stuff out of nowhere. It's like, you know, when you're in a movie and the person that you see from a far distance, and like when you talk to somebody, but then that person leaves, and then your girl's like, right there, that's the shit that happened to me. But she's like, Well, who is that girl? I was like, She's a kid, she's selling books, she's trying to get money for school. Oh, okay. And then she like vanished. I was like, Well, what the hell is that all about? Weird. But I think women in the US oh, hold on. Sorry, I get a text when you know I got you imagined thing, you know, could be a potential. Hold on. Yeah, I'm doing a show right now. I'm doing a show right now. So I had to call you I had to call you back. Okay, sorry. Anyways, so where was I? Okay, so I think I just said I was doing a show. So I think, and listen, I don't know if some of these videos on social media are real, but some are real and some are they not. And I think the men that trying to test their women to know that your girl is crazy when you say when you guys do these stupid text messages talking about texting my girl, I'm leaving, come on, I'm coming over now. Y'all know what y'all are doing. Y'all know what y'all doing. And I think that's that I think that stuff's kind of stupid because that's what leads and that's what starts it. If you're trying to trying to get a reaction out of your girl and trying to see what she's gonna do, well, you know what she's gonna do. Because while you're doing this and you're gonna try to keep it going on, well, somebody some might say that might turn into a real situation. I'm just saying, it could be a real situation. But me personally, I don't like to play around like that. So here's the other thing. I think women are a little bit too aggressive with their spouses when something pops off and they think that they should intervene on their behalf. I don't think that. I don't. I think if you got a lot of mouth on you, I think you're gonna be out there with a lot of mouth on you. Because again, as I said before, I'm not fighting your battles unless I really need to defend you. Now I would defend you if a man has disrespected you, put hands on you, or said something like remotely bad about you. But I'm not going to throw hands because you feel the need, you want to run your damn mouth. And meanwhile, while I'm going to jail, you shacking up with the dude that whooped my ass. That's plain, that's basically what it is. Oh, he wasn't shit anyways. I'm glad you whooped his ass. No, no, no, no, no, no. So that's not the kind of person I am. I'm sorry. Nope, don't do it. So I think my wife, um lord. I think my wife, um, my wife has she has more mouth than I do, and she will throw hands in a minute. And though she was like a buck 25, maybe that's soaking wet, she was not afraid to get down with the get down. There's been plenty of times where I had to intervene on her behalf. Um, and that's not that she was in the wrong, she was always in the right, um, because that's the kind of person that my wife was. She didn't take no shit off nobody. So I think that if you're looking for that type of guy, men are just tired of fighting for dumb shit, like stupid shit. I mean, we understand that some women have a lot of mouth on them, and that a lot of women often say shit that they want their men to back up, but nine times out of ten that you just end that way. It usually ends the way that the male trying to defuse the situation. Because what's the point of going to jail over something that you didn't start? Now, if we're telling you to get in the car or to tone it down a little bit, tone it the hell down. You want me to go to war and fight this guy for what? Because you said something stupid to him and you think I should come in and defend your honor? It don't work like that. It's not gonna work like that. Not with me. Now, other men might do that stupid shit, and then you might go to jail, and then again, while you in jail, your girl is shacking up with the dude that ultimately whooped your ass because she's gonna be at the hospital with him, because while you're sitting in jail and she's thinking to herself, oh well, he got his ass whooped, but he did go to jail for me, but the other guy's out. So, what do you think is gonna happen? And nine times out of ten, I think that shit is just malicious anyway. And this thing is just like a whole setup. I just can't do that. I really can't. So I think I think that you say I'm scared. I'm not scared of black women, I'm not scared of any women. I only fear one man, and that's God. I just don't like confrontation, I don't like the drama. Now, if that's something person that you are, then that's who you are. If you're alone because you say you're alone, because you're alone, because you like to control things, well, I got news for you. Until you learn to change and adapt and do something different, then you're gonna always be alone. I knew a girl like this, and I don't even know if this is her, but I knew a girl who was beautiful, was all get out, but she had the most nastiest attitude. Like nothing would appease her, nothing would make her happy. If you tell her it's a beautiful day, she'd tell you it's a bad damn day. If you said the sky, it's just a beautiful day all around, and oh, let's go out and get some coffee. I don't want coffee, I don't drink coffee. I mean, the littlest things would set her off, and I swear to god, I kid you not. This chick would come in with a different man every week, and I'm like, damn, that's gotta be raw. Then the guys would be like, Yeah, man. I mean, the guy that I seen that she messed with was like, dude, she was like all bad. I mean, I couldn't do anything right. Men, we want to be corrected, but we want to work with you. We want to be an equal towards you. We don't want to fight with you. If you want to look for reasons to fight about something, then you gotta find somebody else for that. I don't like relationships that's filled with drama because you like live less and you get so stressed out and things start going like bad for you, you know, because you're always on pins and needles with your girl and trying to figure out well, how can I make her happy? You know, the one thing I loved about my wife, even though she was half Italian, half black, is that she would appreciate me and though she would get upset and she would have some anger issues, but I love that about her because the sex was great afterwards, and sex is always good when it's mega sex, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00:

But ooh god, I gotta love that bait. Uh Jesus.

SPEAKER_01:

But uh, so I wish I knew this person's name, but then again, it's not really important. If you think I'm a lonely man, then that's fine. If you think I can't handle a real woman, that's fine. I can handle a real woman. I just want that woman to be so real with me that she doesn't have to wear a different persona and to say that I'm real, everything about me is real. Because let's be real honest, I don't know who keeps it worse, men or women. And this show is not about bashing either side. I'm just trying to get you guys to see the bigger picture. Yes, men cause a lot more issues than women do. I mean, that's just in my opinion. I don't know if that's I mean, that's just what I see. You know, I've seen that with all my sisters growing up. You know, my sisters went through so much hell with their uh kids' fathers or their boyfriends and stuff like that. Boy, you ain't got a duff, just a show. Oh, it's my son in the background. But I don't disrespect women. Like if we get into an argument, I won't you won't ever hear me call the woman the B-word. And I know that women like to call each other that. I hate that. That also gets on my nerve. But I've seen men do that, and it doesn't matter how mad I get, and me and my wife, we would when we first got together, we would argue a lot. And uh, well, not when we first got married. When we first got yeah, when we first got married, because like when we got married, uh something changed. It changed immediately. She went from the sweet, nice, loving girl to the spawn of Satan. No, I'm just joking. I love you, sweeter. I'll just joking with you. No, but well, she changed, but it wasn't a bad change. Um, it was a good change. It's just that you know, she started picking up a little bit of jealousy and you know, things like that. But you know, it's all good. You know, that's what I signed up for. She tried to kill me with a hammer once. I don't know if I told you guys that. No, I'm just joking. Uh, but I miss my wife, I do, and I really love her, and I thank her for the light that she gave me. So it doesn't matter what this person thinks, I'm a bastard, and I don't like the fact that you know you say that I'm a lonely man, but that's fine. And here's the other thing you say you're popular on TikTok, you're popular on IG, that's good, good for you. I don't do this for the likes. I don't, I do this for fun, I do this because I like doing it. So if you think that I'm on here going ham because of the followers, I'm not, and I'm not definitely gonna crash out about it neither, because that's not who I am. So if people want to follow me, then they can follow me, they can choose to follow me. Let's be real clear. You it said it took you you said by the 15th show you had to call it quit. So clearly you might have liked what you were hearing, and because you made it all the way to the 15th, uh, 15th show, and I have way more shows than that. So it's fine that um that you say these things about me because I don't get upset about it, I don't get triggered about it, I'm not gonna crash out about none of this stuff. Um, if you don't want my show to be successful, it's fine. I'm not out here trying to promote myself and thinking I'm this messiah of everything or trying to fix everybody's problems. When people come to me, I try to give the best advice as possible. I know that this person thought when they when she hears this show, she thinks I'm gonna crash out and spas out so she can come back at me, which I encourage her to write me back, or she might be on the live. I don't know. I don't know, but it's completely fine. So I think for you to discredit me is okay, it's fine. But if you want to start discrediting me, you need to take a hard look at yourself. Because if you're discrediting me, if you feel this way about me, this is probably why your relationships are not working. Because I'm not the only man, and I don't even think men have really hurt you. I think you have really just been so spiteful and so deceitful and so angry about everything, and I don't know what that is. I can't tap into that because you didn't tell me. But in any event, I give I've given black women plenty of chances. I've dated a lot in my past, and they have not worked out for me. And though I do not hate anybody, and I do not and I have no ill will towards anybody because it's just not the only black women that did me wrong. I've been done by white women, uh, feeling the same way as black women. So I think if you want change and you want to do things a different way, this is just in my opinion the way that I went. Now, I'm sorry that you feel hurt that I went to another culture when I honestly don't even know you and you won't even tell me who you are. So I'm willing to give everybody a fair shot and a fair chance. But if you can't accept my decision, because here's the thing, I'm still trying to figure out why you're so angry at me, and it's like I don't even think we know we couldn't have dated because you clearly would have indicated that in the letter. But and you have all these followers, and that's good. I'm not gonna say how you got the followers or what you did to get the followers, but that's good for you. So, in any event, let's just leave it at that. If you're angry with me after you hear my response, please feel free to email me back d6mpire357.com at gmail. Wait a minute, d6mpire357 at gmail.com. So that's fine. If you want to talk about it, we can talk about it. I am going to be hosting a forum where we can come on here and you guys can share your thoughts with me, and we can do like a talk after the podcast or whatever, and we can try to figure out because, like I said, I'm not I don't pretend to be the best person that I know everything about everything. These are just life experiences. I've lived a lot in my life. I'm 47 years old, and yes, I am. I know people like like oh my god, he's 47. I get that a lot. I look younger than what I am. That's because why I stay the hell out of drama. You feel me? You hood me. I don't do drama. So as you can see, there's no gray hairs, 47, got six beautiful kids, my oldest son, 23 years old. But I don't do drama. So I am probably the only one of my uh out of my siblings that doesn't have um gray hair. Um this is who I am, you know. I go to work, I live life, and I enjoy my life. And I think that if you have to like wake up in a negative environment every day, well, you're gonna age quicker and you're probably gonna go a lot quicker than you need to. Because life is not about drama, life is about you living your life to its fullest. Life is about you just enjoying what you have around you and what you are doing to make sure that you live a healthy life. Now, I've seen people that live life on the edge, it didn't work out for them. The last girl I dated, the last white girl that I dated, um, she was with this dude, and this dude lived life on the edge. Like he was, I mean, weed, I mean, he was a uh a speed junkie. He was on his on his, I think I told this story story before. You know, I'm gonna tell it again because it's my show. I'm gonna tell it again. Now listen up now. Anyways, the last white girl I dated, um, she was uh, and yes, her boyfriend was a he was just a speed junkie, he loved adrenaline, he's adrenaline junkie, but he had taken, I mean, he was doing like maybe a buck eighty on a crotch rocket, and I say he was in the air for at least a good minute or so before he came down. When he came down, it was not pretty, it wasn't. So then after he had passed, and I was like, oh my god, I'm sorry. But it just didn't work out, didn't work out because she still loved that quality of a man, and that's the kind of man that she wants. Listen, if you guys want, you guys are gonna like who you're gonna like, but don't expect to be treated a certain way if this is the guy that you choose. If you choose a guy that you know is not good in the beginning, and that doesn't have anything going for him, like he's got no job, no nothing, no place, no car, but you get mad when he takes up your shit, then this is what you choose. And I gotta be honest, some women choose men based off the looks and the way in the ability he can lay pipe. Okay, that's not me. I don't look at females thinking like, oh my god, I need to get inside of her. Yeah, yeah. I think I can give her something she can be proud of. Yeah, that's not me. I don't. Even when I went to the Philippines, I didn't look at women like that. And Lord knows it's a lot of them over there. Jesus is a lot. But that's not me. That's not what I go what I do. So when you women When you and I think the men are, I don't know, I can't really say the men are the same way because men, you know, the men that send me letters on this show are just tired of just the bullshit. They're just tired of being, you know, feeling like they're less than. They're just tired of feeling like, you know, like then what they're what they're doing, they're not accomplishing anything. And I get it, I understand that. And I know it takes two, and I know that when I get these letters, they're all one-sided. Um, I've only gotten a few letters in the past where I've had couples either email the show or whatever, and we kind of talk about it. But I can't put blame, only thing I can do is offer you support. I can offer you support, but I can't put blame on the woman unless I don't really like to judge a book by its cover, but if you give me the information and I take the information, I try to analyze the information and try to make sense of the information, then yeah, because like I said, I've gotten letters in the past where men have said that you know, listen to your show a lot, and then I decided that my girl wasn't for me, and I decided to do get on the site Filipino Cup, and I found my Filipino Cupid. And here's the thing as I said before, when I went over to the Philippines, there was a lot of brothers over there. A lot of brothers, Jesus, a lot of brothers. So, and I get it. I I mean you gotta understand. I think for me as a black man, I just want someone that's gonna love me. I want somebody that I can come on to and just say that, you know, hey, I love you, I appreciate you. I don't want somebody to come to come on to like, well, how much money did you make today? Or I need to get my nail and hairs done. Uh, I need a new, I need, I need new red bottoms, new boots, or whatever. I don't know whatever shit y'all just buy because I don't even buy none of this stuff. That's why I don't even I don't know nothing about it because I don't buy it. Damn it. Yeah. The thing I loved about my wife is that she wasn't a materialistic woman. And though she had needs and I met her needs, I would take care of her on her birthday, holidays, especially Valentine's Day. That was one of my favorite holidays. And that's what I'm saying. When men do stuff like that, and it doesn't matter if he if he buys the littlest gift in the room, it's the thought that counts. If he's trying to be everything that you want him to be, and that that you need him to be, then let him do that. Now, if he doesn't have a lot of money, but he's working to make sure that you have a roof over your head, let him do that. Because in the end, when that man turns to something good, you're gonna appreciate him for that. But if you leave him at his low because you feel that you need better, then you're gonna lose out on that. And I've seen that happen before. I've seen it happen before. You know, my sisters who I love, I love my sisters, um, they've been through some things. You know, I got a sister now who's do they like he just up and left, up and left. And he went to go be with another female. Turns out the female that he was with, that he went to go be with, wasn't no nearest compared to what my sister was. My sister is a hard-working woman. She's really hard working, she takes care of her family, and she this is how hard she worked. She would come home after long days of work, cook dinner, uh, make sure the house is clean, draw my bath, and when he went to the hospital, she drove an hour away to the hospital. Now, if that ain't a good woman, I don't know what it is, but he didn't appreciate that. He'd rather go and be with somebody that was the hood or somebody who was just not her. So I'm not scared of a strong woman. I embrace a strong woman. I love seeing a strong woman. I love seeing women do the impossible because that's just who I am. But as we get ready to close this show out, because this has been fun, if you guys feel that you want to add something to this or say something about it, it's completely fine. Um, we're not gonna fight about it, we're not gonna argue about it, we're going to talk about it. That's what we do here. We talk about things. So to the listener that wrote the show and calling me a bastard, I will be anything you want me to be. It is fine. I am good with that. So I just wish you the best of luck. I hope that you find what you're looking for in life, and I hope that this doesn't mature you and think that all black men are the same because clearly they're not. As I said before, I don't put Filipino women on a pedestal. I don't, I just enjoy what they have to offer. I'm not saying you should get like them, but I'm saying that if you have an issue with me, the issue is gonna start with you and taking a hard look at yourself and trying to figure out what you can do to make yourself either more better or more right for yourself and how you can keep a relationship going. Because I have no issues with everything that you wrote in the letter. I don't. If you want to be mad and discredit me, that's fine. You're clearly lashing out at me, that's fine. I'll take it, it's fine, not a big deal. But don't call me uh not a real man when you're not even a real woman. Because a real woman would reveal herself, I mean, not revealed herself, no, I won't say it like that, but clearly tell me who you are or who you are. It's not for me just to come down on you and say this, that, and the other. If you got followers, you got followers. That's fine. That's good. I'm happy for you. But that's not gonna make you happy. You're clearly missing something in your life, and that is the affection and the love of somebody who cares about you. Because I don't know if anybody does or doesn't care about you, but clearly you're missing some aspect of that in your life. You're missing something. So I don't know who hurt you or why they hurt you, but I can tell you this you can come back from that. I'm not the one who hurt you. I think I'm just somebody you can crash out on, which is fine, I'll take it. But in order for you to move on with your life, you need to kind of reevaluate yourself and look at yourself and see what you can do differently to make yourself happy. Don't wake up on a negative note every day and think that all black men are the same because all black men are the same. You know, it's crazy because as a black man, we don't get mad when we see white uh men go after black women. I don't get mad at none of that. I'm like, oh, I'm happy for them. I don't. But why is it that black women always get mad when they see a black man with somebody of the opposite race? I don't understand that. Why? Because if you didn't know him, or if you knew, even if you didn't know him, you know what? Let's give you an example. Even if you know this guy and you work with this guy, but you wouldn't give him the time of day, but the person that you work with ultimately did give that person a time of day, why are you mad? Why are you mad? And then you try to do some mischievous shit and try to say, try to get back, well, you should have been with me, or hey, how about you come over here? And you're just doing just trying to ruin a happy own. That's it. I don't play games like that. I don't. I think when you play with somebody's emotions, it's real, it's very real. And I think that when you ultimately try to assess your life and assess your situation, and I don't know what that may be. I want you to email me back when you can. Maybe we can talk more about this. We don't have to be. I mean, I was gonna do a live forum chat, but we don't have to do that. So I think that for this person, I think clearly you're hurting. Somebody hurt you, but it wasn't me. Because I don't even know you, and I haven't dated anybody over here since my wife passed. So clearly it ain't been me. And I'm not the kind of person that's going to get down on you or crash out about you and say, well, whatever. So, my friends, thank y'all for tuning in. We got another show coming up here shortly, maybe in a couple hours. I gotta go get some damn red diamond tea because I'm out of tea. I need my tea. The links are in my description. I'm also I'm working on, I'm trying to get this other uh platform up, but it's just not going the way I thought it was. Yeah, you know, that's what it is. But I do want to say I appreciate you guys for tuning in. Um, sorry that um, and again, I say that you know the shows be released every Wednesday. I'll probably go ahead and release this one. I am on every streaming platform that you can think of, whether that be Amazon, uh Spotify, uh uh iTunes, uh uh uh and some other ones. I can't name it all shit. I'm on there. I'm on there, okay? So either you want to look at me or you don't. Because if you don't want to look at me, this shit can get real. No, I'm just joking. I'm kidding, kid. So but I want to say a shout out to my listeners who follow me on IG, TikTok, you know, whatever. Whatever. I don't care. I appreciate you guys. I thank you. Like I said, I just do this because I like doing it. I like engaging with the people. And hopefully on the next show, I don't know, I might try to do that today. Maybe we can get engaged and we can have people come in and you know maybe just talk about some things. You know, I'm just saying. You know. My past shows are always on YouTube. Um, I can't really upload them all to the um site, but as a one listener asked me to upload a show that I did, uh, which I found was funny and she found was funny too, but I uploaded that show already. So um the links are always in the description. Um Yeah. So I'm gonna let y'all groove. And until the next time, I am Icon. This is the show, let's talk about it. Until next time, we're gonna see y'all later.