Let's Talk About It

Old-School Discipline Meets Modern Parenting Pressure

• Derick

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I share Angel’s story alongside my own recent moment as a dad: a vaping incident on the school bus, the hard conversation that followed, and a three-month plan to rebuild trust without breaking the relationship. We separate discipline from rage, explain why chores are not servitude but skill-building, and show how consistency turns respect into a habit. We also tackle culture and context—how different families set different lines, why social media scripts can’t replace your values, and how to keep your home from becoming a battleground over borrowed talking points.

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SPEAKER_01:

Let's talk about it. Is the name of the show?

SPEAKER_00:

My assistant is acting up because I didn't cross over to Windows Eleven. Just going crazy. We're gonna get started here in a minute. Trying to uh see if this thing is up and running and working right. But if they can hear me, they can hear me. If not, I'm checking it out here now. In any event, I want to welcome y'all back to the show. Show is called Let's Talk About It. I am the icon. And those for y'all who's joining me a second time, well, you got a real treat. I usually do one of these on the weekend. But since I'm trying to work with different platforms and trying to oh I guess expand my base as my kids would call it. I'm just trying something different here, you know. But want to welcome you out to the show for those of you guys who's joining me on Twitch, Twitch Live, Twitch TV, welcome. Uh it's been a day. The weather's changing, the holidays are coming up. I mean, we only got what almost two months left in this year, and we'll be in 2026. Still working on my TikTok feed. But I'm gonna have to do that probably on a different system. This system is not designed to handle multiple platforms, but whatever, it is what it is. In any event, I want to welcome you out to the show. We're gonna get started here shortly. Just trying to make sure everything is everything. Feel me? So this next letter, it's more like uh, I don't know, maybe just some advice that this parent is dealing with um from one of her daughters, and this letter couldn't come at a better time because I'll tell you that once we get into it with what my daughter decided to do. Um, so excuse me. So this letter is entitled Future Suspect, and I think it's kind of ironic and kind of funny that she puts future suspect because I'm always telling my kids I'm definitely gonna be a future suspect. Y'all keep pissing me off and doing what y'all do. Well, it's mostly my daughter and my son, but you know they're your kids. I love them. I I think being the best part of my life is being a parent, and I love being a parent. Um because I have six kids, you know, six different kids, six different multiple personalities, and I don't all I treat them all equally, but not all the same, if that makes any sense. So I don't show any favoritism towards any of my kids. And you know, I'm from the old school, you know, the old school of whoop ass. You know, doesn't matter how big you are or how big you get, you ain't never too big to get put over this leg and get that ass beat real tall. I think that's what we're missing, you know, in this new generation. This new generation is, and I think it's what's made it worse is some of these pansy ass parents that think that justifying your kids' actions because you want their approval. I give zero damn about approval for my child. If you screw up, you do something wrong, damn it, you're gonna pay the price. Real talk. So without further ado, let's get into this next letter. Um, you know, I gotta remember to write the names down of these parents, these people that email me because I don't uh I think when I go through it, you know, but whatever, you know. I don't know. It's all good. In any event. It's called Future Suspect. Hello, sir. What's good with you? I'm good, you know, the same shit every day, you know. No, just joking. I need some advice. Parent-to-parent advice. Um, I understand you have two kids too, which are girls. That's is correct. Yeah, that's correct. So I listen to your show quite often. I feel you connect with some of us regular folk in this fucked up world. I need your advice because I have friends that either do or don't have kids, and some of their kids are way screwed up than what mine are. So, why would I take advice from someone who clearly can't keep their own house in order? So, Icon, this is what I got for you. So, my name is Angel. Okay, yeah, name is Angel. Angel, which currently lives in Arizona, been married for six years before my ex decided to screw one of my friends from the past, and that ass got caught slipping. Wow, yikes. Um but I already handled that. So we have two daughters together, 13 and 14. Yes, he does take care of them because I also get alimony from his ass. You want to make sure she though his ass under the bus for real good. And before you start judging, oh shoot. Uh oops. Hang on y'all. Sorry, I don't mean to do this woman to show, but my daughter was texting me something.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, and before you start judging, I also we I before you start judging, I also work. We both have good paying jobs. I work in finance, and he's a mechanic at a dealership. Probably where he met my so-called friend decided she wanted to literally take his ass for a test dry. Lol. I this letter. I've had his ass, and that I that model's used up anyway, so I made sure I put some miles on it. She's talking about her ex, not not the actual car. Icon. I'm sorry, still a little bitter, even though we've been divorced for two years, still fresh to me. Lol. But anyways, back to my girls. So my daughters are good kids. Well, the oldest one, anyways, my younger one, which is the one that would definitely get me a case. Because icon. I must be honest, she has a lot of mouth, and though I can see myself in that orange jumpsuit. I had I had friends, I had a friend living with me that I thought was my best friend, but we have since parted ways as well. I kind of must admit, I and her father probably had a hand in in this diva. And I call my daughter D.Va, so I definitely know what she's dealing with. At times we had put her in some semi um modeling programs, but that didn't work out because the damn parents were worse than their daughters. I was like, oh hell no. I know what she's talking about. The fact that some of these dumbass parents bend over backwards to please their kids is just a whole nother level than what I'm used to. I mean I heard one girl tell her mom I hate her, I hate you because she lost. And she came in second place, of course I was of course. Well she came in second place, of course. This was outside when we were leaving, but make that make sense. I immediately looked at my daughter and thought at that point she was agreeing with her little friend, but she didn't say it. So that the one incident, fast forward three years later, that time, she's around eight or nine. When she started middle school, I noticed her behavior changed like I was a problem, that I quickly became the issue. Well, you see, I'm old school. I ain't afraid to whoop ass. Whoop ass is needed. And I know the difference between child abuse and an ass whooping. So lately, it's just been this attitude like I'm the damn problem. This is kind of a different attitude, like one of her friends says something to her that eventually will catch me a case. We live in the suburbs. And though we are black, our kids go to the school, and let's just say this ain't no damn hood community. We live we made sure of that as well. But I think she's definitely being influenced by her friends to act out because they are white. Don't get me wrong, Icon. I have friends and some of their parents, and some of the shit and some of the shit their kids say to them almost I almost forgot that they weren't my kids and dismissed it like I was a friend or some shit. Make that make sense. But still, don't understand what's happening. So that was two weeks ago. Me and my daughter Aries had some one-on-one time because I truly wanted to know if we had beef, and if we did, what the hell was it for? She pointed me out to an IG page of this guy named Billy. Oh, Billy Visco. Okay, let's take a pause for a cause. Okay, so what she's saying that her daughter gave her this page. This guy's name is Billy, I think it's Visco or whatever. He has a youth uh IG page, and his parenting skills, now they're not what I'm used to. Let's just be clear about it. I don't parent the way he parents because he's always telling parents to do better. But this white guy um clearly has a better upbringing than what I was used to. And he has a daughter, I'm not sure if he has a son, but he has a daughter, and what he depicts in these scenarios is like he's actually targeting people that I want to say black post because back in the day back in the day when our parents told us to do something, we did it with no equivocation or no talk back. So what he does is he takes it. I'm not saying that this guy is directly aiming his audience towards black um black parents, but if you're a white parent and you're and we tell our kids, I'm sorry, if we ask our kids to do something and they say no, then put the do a black version of that because a black version of that is gonna look totally hell of a lot different. So, um let's get back to the letter. I was like, who is this? She said, This is a guy that can help me be a better parent. And I was like, what the hell is wrong with my parenting, you little girl? This heifer had the audacity. Yeah, I don't know. You guys look this guy up, maybe you like him. I don't too much care for him, it's just not the way I parent. So she had the audacity to tell me what I need to do better. So you know what, Icon? I indulged her for a week straight. I watched this post and made some notes. First of all, when she told me that I need to do better, that's a catchphrase or whatever that she that was definitely sent to me. Second, I'm trying to figure out what I need to do better because clearly my daughter is a spoiler, and the only way I can see myself doing better is start punishing her more when she gets out of line. Third, this guy clearly has more gray hair than I. I am a black I am black. Some I'm sure they've been through it before he decided to create this fade, somewhere along the lines, he couldn't have been this guy. But then again, he is white. Most of them bend the knee towards their kids any damn way. I asked my daughter, why in the hell would you send me this? Uh, Vettyette, why and where in the hell did you get it? She told me that one of her friends uses it on her parents, basically, basically, like I said, bend the knee. I asked her, okay, well, how's that working out for her friends? She said it works great. They pretty much let her do whatever the hell she wants. So I was like, Oh, really? Please go on, explain more. At this point, the mother was being very sarcastic, which we get that. I get it. At the end of the conversation, I told my daughter, I don't give a damn what goes on at your friend's house. You're my child. And if you don't like it when you turn 18, you're free to leave. She then proceeds. Now, this is what definitely would have got me uh in jail. She then proceeds to correct me and said, The law says when I turn 17 I can leave. And I asked her, How about now? Because I don't give a damn what you feel about when you see your dumb ass friends talking reckless to their parents. I'm not them. I would definitely catch a case because in my house, the parent, I'm the parent, you're the child. At this point, I want her to stand on business. So, parent to parent, I feel like I could use some insight on what you think the next course of act should be. Because I was never this way, and when I was her age back in the day, we knew what it was. Maybe I just need someone to hear another side. And as I said, you're a parent, and I appreciate the input that you have. Okay, so as I said before, this guy, uh Billy, I don't know, it's Billy V. That's I don't know. Uh but he has this page, and he's I don't know what he's gotten awards for. I think he used to be something a sports now, a sports caster, but in any event, it doesn't make any damn sense that you're this is a black family that lives in suburbs, has white friends. Now, let me tell you something. As I said before, and I can agree with this parent on what she's saying, because if my kids would have brought that to me, uh, they probably would have been doing a report and they would have been sending Mr. Vlasco or Billy in a message on Instagram talking about Sir, you're dead wrong. Uh, this ain't the way you parent. So I'm trying to make this make sense and put this in a context that you guys could like maybe get the visual out. So here's a white guy, he's an older white guy. I don't know if he's in it looks like he's in his late 40s, but he has a head of gray hair. You guys may or may not know who I'm talking about, but he has a head full of gray hair. Um, he has a nice house, he's done really well for his family. I'm not knocking none of that, but this young lady took her took her boyfriend to her room and shut the door. No, it's I don't know. Oh no. Um, I don't know. I'm trying to make this make sense because I don't really watch this guy, but I find his parenting skills a little bit awkward because when he asked his daughter to clean the kitchen, oh no, when okay, so maybe you guys can relate to this. So back in the day when you know we were growing up and your parents said you missed the spot, and we had to go back and clean that up. So he did the exact same thing, he said you missed the spot. He said, No, no, no, no, don't worry about it. I'll get it. He said, Parents, your kids are not your maids, they're your kids. You gotta learn to do better. And I'm like, well, wait, what the hell? What do you mean they're not our maids? We know they're not our damn maids. This is a part where I kind of differ on him. I differ from him, this guy, from a lot of different reasons. Because if I'm telling you to clean something, you missed a damn spot. What in the hell do you think is gonna happen when you go to a job and they tell you that you missed a spot? And then you're talking about you want to come back and you're gonna get it, you're gonna get it for them. Oh no, hell no, no, no, no, no. You're gonna clean it the way I want it and the way I want it to get done. I'm not gonna spend too much time with this guy because every time I talk about this guy, it kind of gets my blood boiling because there's a lot of people on this page talking about, oh my god, I wish it would have had you as a parent. Everybody parents differently. Now, like this parent said, she knows the difference between an ass whooping and a and child abuse. Child abuse is when I come home and I beat you on a day-to-lay basis because I'm pissed off. It ain't got nothing to do with probably not you, but it ain't got nothing to do with you, but it's got to do with whatever happened to my day. So in any event, I kind of differ with his parenting skills. I don't like his parenting skills, but then again, that's not for me to say that's the way you want to raise his family, that's fine. Let me be clear. It is a difference between a white family and a black family. We know what it was back in the day. Now, with that being said, this young lady is having an issue with her daughter. I can't really say that I'm having an issue with my daughter. I think the issue that um I think the issue that I'm having, it's not really an issue. I'll give you the scenario and I'll give you the rundown. So, my daughter, who goes to high school, and she was recently uh caught vaping on the school bus. Yeah, yeah, vaping. A lot of you guys say, oh, that's not a big deal. The hell it ain't, because if you ain't old enough to buy it, then you damn sure ain't old enough to do it. So, this is my younger daughter, Diva. But she not only did this once, okay, so last year this happened, and she was at an alternative school because of her anger, because she has a mouth on her. Unfortunately, I can control that because I'm the parent. The one thing that my daughter doesn't do is they don't cross me. Because they know the type of parent that I am. Now, when you go to school and you think you can talk rapids to the people at school, that's fine, but when you get home, there's gonna be some serious consequences. So, Miss uh Lexis is it? I understand what you're saying, I understand what you're going through. Oh, Angel, it's Angel. Okay, I don't know where I got a Lexus from. Okay, so Miss Angel, I understand what you're going through because here's what I did with my daughter. So my daughter had uh she had three passes, and I kind of gave her a pass because um we're not really starting off in a new school. In a it's just a a new school within the district. So they went to one school, and then since we live on the kind of like the the borderline of this school and that school, so she had to go to the new school. But it doesn't matter because all her friends are still there, so I got a call from her. She was like, Dad, I um I'm gonna get in trouble. I was like, What are you getting in trouble for? Well, I well, they said I was vaping on the bus. And were you vaping? Now keep in mind, back then we could probably get away with anything on a school bus because why? Cameras weren't that great, but luckily we live in a district where these goddamn cameras are HD 4K and they can see even the the dirt on the damn floor, and they are in really crystal clear, high definition quality. You feel what I'm saying? So but and I said, Well, what did you do that for? She's like, I don't know. I was like, Where'd you get it from? She said, I got it from my um my brother, which I knew that was a lie, because my boys know that I don't tolerate that shit. I don't. So I don't want to make this all about uh my daughter, but I'm just trying to give Miss Angel a comparison. Here's what I did. So teenage daughters are always gonna be a little bit more snarky, a little bit more sarcastic, a little bit trying to test the limits. They're gonna test you because they want to see how far they that you're gonna take it. I think you did the right thing by calling her out on her BS and saying that how about now? Because here's the thing. When my twin sister was of legal age, which was 17, um she didn't even tell she was leaving. She turned 17, and my twin sister had all this planned out. She left when she turned 17, like she had a bag full of clothes, and we were like, What's the clothes for? Oh, they're for theater or drama class. It's like, okay, well, turns out they were her clothes. She went to school, went to her friend's house, and we heard from her, but we, you know, we just kind of didn't figure out what it was. But nevertheless, my mom didn't trip because here's the thing it's a lot harder than it was back then. No, it's a lot harder now than it was back then. Back then we could leave our parents' house and you know, could probably find a good probably find a good fan job. Back to us, a good fan job was fast food, you know, or a Walmart or anything. Now, not so much. So I think that when she did that, we were all kind of like shocked. So, Miss Angel, you're not the one that went through that because my mom went through that. Now, I don't know the stent of my daughters trying to test me, but I know they kind of like to test me in some things, especially my youngest daughter, who's clearly gonna get me caught up in a court case, and I'm going to be on the 6 o'clock news um that Saturday evening. But I have to remember that and I think this is where it kind of plays into me, or I kind of this is where I kind of get to to her level, and not stoop to her level, but I'm very sarcastic. I love sarcasm, I love being, and I don't even mean to be that way. Like if somebody says something to me and they think I'm being sarcastic, well I'm really I'm not, it's just the way I talk. So all my kids are very sarcastic, but they don't choose to cross me in a way that they can't come back from. Because I tell my kids, if you think you're gonna come at me, you're gonna quickly meet your maker, and you're gonna find out I can show you better than I can tell you. Real talk. So I think we all parent differently, and I think that I don't spoil my kids, I don't. I want my kids to learn the the way of life. I want them to learn that when somebody tells you no, it is no. Now, I did put my daughter in um it was gymnastics, but it was only for like a week or whatever because it just wasn't I don't know, but I don't think your daughter is being I think your daughter's just trying to find out how well she can test you and how well she can test the limits. And I get it, most daughters are like that. Um my oldest daughter, not so much. I mean she does, but she takes after her mother and she's kind of a boss. So she kind of likes to run things her way, but she does it in a respectful way. Not all the time, because my oldest daughter, she if you do something and they don't want me to find out, she would bet best you best not to do it while she's around. Because it's like she's got my numbers a hotline. So And when I find out, and they don't get mad at her because eventually I'm gonna find out anyways. So it's not the fact of snitching, it's just the fact that she cares about her siblings and wanting to do better. Now, my youngest daughter, she goes to therapy, um, because she has kind of a temperament and she suffers from um depression, and that's from the loss of her mother. So sometimes she gets a past, most times she gets a pass, but I don't indulge her because this last stint got her grounded for three months. Three months. Hang on, gotta get something to drink. But this last stent got her um got her grounded for three months and not only that she won't have her phone so I don't give a damn if you screw up and she's gotta do all the chores in the house now. Mind you, my house stays clean 24-7, so I don't know what she can do besides take care of the cat. Dishes are always done, so I'm kind of running out of things for her to do, but I know that the one thing that she does like, she likes to hang out with friends, and that's like her main thing. I want to hang out with my friends, I want to do this. Well, you can't have any friends, so my daughter tries to come into me and she says, Well, dad, what can I do to get this back? Well, you can start doing what you need to do and stop doing stupid shit like vaping on a damn school bus, which you know you're not allowed to do. And like I tell my kids, if you're not old enough to buy it, you're not old enough to do it. That's just me. Now, I vape. I vape because I'm the parent. I lead by example, um, and I try to instill that especially in my daughters because I want my daughters to be independent women. I don't want them to follow a certain crowd and I don't want them to exhibit a certain kind of behavior that's going to get them like somewhat in trouble. And I know that they have a lot to learn, um, especially my youngest. My oldest is pretty much she's getting there because she's gonna graduate this year, yay, and then after that, uh my twins are graduating next year. So while I still tell my kids I'm not afraid to whoop y'all's ass, because if you do something that rewards an ass whooping, you will get the belt, and you will get it really good. And be thankful that you're not back in our day where we had to go take down tree bent tree branches that were switches and get your ass beat with that. So I'm still a big disciplinarian as a parent, and I think Miss Angel, I think I don't really see anything wrong in the letter that you presented to me because I think that you gotta have these talks. You know, I talk to my daughters all the time, and I talked to my daughter yesterday, and I said, Well, why are you doing this? You know, what's the point of you vaping? I don't know, dad. I just did it. So, do you know it's wrong? Yeah, I knew it was wrong, so why do it? You know, that's like if you're going out to rob somebody or you steal something, do you not think you're gonna get caught? So, but the punishment for her for three months, yes, I said three months is good enough for me. Now, she doesn't like it, and I don't give a damn if she didn't like it or not, but I think that it doesn't matter. Well, kind of matters, but somewhat doesn't matter. My daughters are not spoiled, they have to work for everything that they want, and whatever they need, I will provide, I will get them what they need, I will take care of their needs. So, excuse me. So, I think that your daughter is definitely trying to test you, and she's trying to see how far she's going to push the limit and push the buttons with you. Now, um, I don't think that you've gotten soft in the neighborhood that you live in. You're just trying to take a different approach, and that's and that's fine. We all want to do that, you know. We all want to give our kids the benefit of the doubt and say that, well, let me try it a different way. And nine times out of ten, that works because that works for me. I think my kids haven't gotten an ass whooping since they were maybe little, maybe around I don't know, I can't really remember, maybe five or six, and that's good because as a parent, I'm not bending the knee, but I'm taking a different approach, and I can beat your ass, it just depends on what the punishment is that you have done. So, let's be real clear about something. I want my daughters to understand, and my sons to understand that there are consequences to your action. So, me, even though my daughter didn't get the ass whooping that she thought she should have that she was going to get, she quickly apologized. And I said, Well, you can't apologize if you're I mean you can apologize, but why do it a second time and get caught? The first time you got caught, and then here's the other thing a thing that pissed me off about my daughter. She lied about where she got it from because she said it was from one of her friends, but really it wasn't. So, and then when it happened last year, and I don't know, she just thought she can just get away with it. Maybe I should have my daughter down here and talk to her about it. But our kids sometimes want to test the limit, they sometimes want to test the limit, they want to try to see what they can do to push us to say they want to sometimes see how far we can get they can get away with it. Because here's what kids don't think about. Kids don't think about that if my parents go to jail, where the hell am I gonna go? Am I going to foster care? Am I going with a family member? And I'm the type of family member that if I knew one of my siblings was going to jail, well, their kids don't want to stay with me. Why? Because they think I'm too strict. It's not the fact that I'm too strict, it's just the fact that I believe in doing things in a fair way. As I said before, I have a niece. Um, she is, I don't even know, I think she's 17. I think she's 17. Anyway, she got pregnant when she was 13. Um, and I love my niece. I do. I love my niece. But her mother, um, which was, you know, being more than a friend of her, because she's she's a beautiful uh young lady. She's beautiful, she's light-skinned, and she thinks she has like the whole world is just for her. Like, oh my god, she's light-skinned and she's got an accent. Well, she's from the south, she's from Alabama. But none of that matters if you can't comprehend the way you need to deal with life. None of that matters if you can't understand what you are doing in life to get where you need to go in life. You can be cute, you can be fine, you can have the glitz of the hair, the glamour, yada yada yada and all, woe is me, and all the falls in the world. That shit is quickly gonna dwindle out as you start to get older. I think as you start to get older, and then the sad thing is that with my daughter, um, I don't really worry about her because she's got a mouth on her, and there are some things that kind of question me about her, but other than that, as long as I have my oldest daughter and the support of the women in my family, I think everything's gonna be good. So, but getting back to my niece, she had a baby around, wait, I think she got pregnant when she was 12. And I gotta say, the women, the young ladies don't look like shit what we grew up with back in the day. I don't mean to say shit, but the women we grew up back in the day, the women we grew up back in the day were like more like tomboys that weren't fully developed yet, and they just had these, we didn't really see sex when we looked at them. But now, when you look at these kids a day and you're thinking like, oh my god, oh my god, she's beautiful. And then when you say she's beautiful, well, yeah, she's only 13. What the hell? 13? Jesus, that's a full grown ass woman. So that's the way my niece presented herself, because again, she's in Alabama, plus her mom is um, uh, I don't really know, but her mother is I don't know if they really say developed early, but let's just say that she's a beautiful young lady, and thank God she's not my daughter because I would definitely be in jail because I would definitely catch a case. But I have daughters, and I'd like to be I want my daughters to be respectful of themselves and know that they need to understand that looks are not going to be everything that may get you so far in life, but that's and when I say so far in life, that's only gonna get you more like maybe a headache, um, because you can't sleep your way to the top, and I think that's what my niece is kind of doing. My niece is a little bit older now, she just had her second child, which oh my goodness, yeah, yeah. But I still love my niece, and they don't talk to me as much, is because as me being the parent that I am, and the way they talk now, if ever I seen somebody bend the knee towards their children, that would be my sister. Um when I say she bends the knee, they have to get their nails and hair done, and then these two go back and forth, they fight, like physically fight like like they in a round up, like they're in like they're in Tyson Knockout or something. They fight like ridiculously, and it's like, oh my god, seriously. Um, but at the end of the day, I love my nieces, but I can't let my daughters go down that path. And I'm pretty sure, Miss Angel, you want the same thing for your children. But your daughter, you said she's 13. So 13 at that age, they're probably just trying to find out who they are, and they think they can kind of test the limits um with you because they see if they mimic what they what they see their other friends do, well, they gotta be thinking like, well, if I did this with my mom, I don't think this shit's gonna work out too well. Because I tell my kids, um, you can mimic what you want. I guarantee you you won't wake up to see the next day or the day after that. You will by the time you wake up, um, shit will be flying. And what I mean by that, the world will be a whole different place. And that's real talk. That's real. Because I don't see why as parents we need to kind of indulge our kids in their behaviors that they're doing. All it takes is just for you to be a parent. And I understand that some of these mothers out here are single mothers, but if the dad is in the picture, let the dad be in the picture. If he's a good father, and if you guys had a horrible breakup, that's fine. Don't take the shit out on the kids. Let your daughters make sure they have their father in their life because that is going to be the most important thing in their life. You know, we see it all the time where you know, girls that have daddy issues. Take for instance, um, this who is the chick's name, Daniel Bagarley or Bad Baby, or whatever the hell her name is. Speaking of which, there's a daughter right there. Yeah, that's her. Ah, kidding. Yeah, that's that's the one. That's that's my little drug addict. Ain't that right, honey? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's daddy's little drug addict. Nah, just joking is that she's just but that's my daughter. Uh, one of my daughters. But what I'm saying is that I think it's important for a father to be in their daughter's life. No matter if your daughter hates you, always make a point to try to stay in your daughter's life. And the only reason why I say that is because this world is not kind to young girls, it really isn't. But this one chick I was talking about, Daniel Bugurley, they call her bad baby when she was on the Dr. Phil talking about cash me outside and all this other bullshit. I thank God. Oh, thank God I don't know that girl.

unknown:

Yes, I don't.

SPEAKER_00:

Because you had a lot of people, and that's the bad thing. When we put our young daughters on social media and we think it's cute, it's only cute for like maybe five or ten minutes. But and then you try to keep capturing on that moment, say, Oh, we got the views, and we got this, we got that. I don't do that, I'm not that kind of parent. I think this young girl was not only abused, but she was definitely misused because her mother tried to capitalize on the fame or the catchphrase, catch me outside. I don't get none of that. Listen, I see a lot of parents that want to use their daughter as sort of a sex symbol or sex object. I know some of you guys don't think that that's right to say, but it's exactly what it is. If my daughters are on social media, I monitor their social media. I do. I do. I'm not a parent that's gonna sit back and be like, Oh yeah, you have free brand to do everything. Because then that's that's how that's how you know when they're doing shit behind your back, and you don't never know until something happens, and you don't want nothing to happen. So, am I a nosy father? Yeah, I think I am. Do I have the right to uh know and understand what they're doing? Yes, I do. Do I have the right to know who they're gonna be with and where they're gonna be at? Yes, you damn sure right I do. Because let me tell you something. Along with that kind of respect, respect, I get the same kind of respect for parents when their daughters come over here. I have a parent now who I talk to. Um, she has just the one daughter, and you know, she didn't she didn't want to let her come over here because her daughter was misbehaving. And I said, Well, it's okay. I said, it's okay, I said you got nothing to worry about over here. And a lot of people would frown at the idea of letting their daughter come over to another uh their friend's house, and I'm a single father. There's nothing to frown upon because I'm a father first. I treat every individual young lady that walks in this house as if they were my own damn daughter. They wanted to go down to downtown days and have a good time. I said, nope, you need to call your mother. If your mother says it's okay, then it's okay. I don't do anything unless another parent approves their child of going somewhere. Because if their parent says no, well, I'm sure in hell not gonna send my daughters out there and you stay here. No, it's a package deal. Either you can go and she can go. If she can't go, but you can't go, well, guess who ain't going? So I think as a parent, I pride myself on who I am and what I do for my daughters because is it tough raising girls? It is, it is, because I think the element that's missing is their mother, and nobody can ever feel the shoes of their mother. You know, their mother was one of the hardest working women I know that I married, and she was just a wow, yeah, but she didn't take no shit neither. She wasn't like I said, she was a buck twenty-five, maybe soaking wet, but she was not afraid to whoop that ass. And she really wasn't. So and I have so and I have a lot of parents that I talk to, and if I think that my daughter shouldn't go to your house because I don't like what's going on over there, I will gladly tell that other parent, you know, because I want my daughters to feel safe. I don't want them to come home and be like, well, this happened to me. Because if that if that happened, the next time y'all see me doing a podcast, I will be wearing orange. And this time it's gonna say Department of Corrections, real talk. So I think that I don't want to get too far off topic, but what Miss Angel is saying, but I understand what she's saying. But don't let up off your daughter. You can be the parent that your daughter needs you to be, and if you say you need to start, if the only thing you need to change is start punishing more, I would challenge you on that, or challenge her on that, or challenge yourself on that and say, Well, you know what? I do need to start putting punishing more because you've been misbehaving. Trust me, I've never heard a black parent or a black child tell their mother that they hate them and live to tell about it. Now, sorry, white folks, y'all got this shit all twisted. Your child could have a rough day at school, and or a friend could break up with them, or they be beaving a friend, they'll tell you in a minute that they hate you. Let a black child utter those words, they won't even get it out quick enough before you hear 911, what's your emergency? You know, we see these videos online, and that's the other bad thing. You know, some of these kids think they can mimic the shit they see online. And when they do that, it's a no-brainer for me. Real talk. When we see these videos of the white parents going off on their um, the white kids going off on their white parents, and they have the little eyes like they're waking up to the oh okay, you're back. Yeah, that doesn't really happen in a black home. Because you have to first make it just doesn't happen. It doesn't. And I know there's some white parents that I know that are just down to earth, you know, old school, like some of these black parents. You know, that's that's in the south. So I think as parents, as you, Miss Angel, I think you're doing a fabulous job with your daughters. I don't know the full story, but it sounds like you have a good upbringing and a good home. You didn't say that you had another man in the house with your daughters. I commend you on that. I do. Even though your ex is with your best friend now, you know, I kind of wonder how that's going on right now. Anyway, let's not get off topic. Let's not get off, let's not get off the subject here. Let's stick to the front of my hand, and that's taking care of these girls. But it sounds like you're doing everything right. And as I said, what I do with my daughters is that I there's something that she wants that she has to have. I'm gonna take it away. She's got three months of punishment, she's got no phone, her phone will be deactivated as soon as the cycle ends, and then she has to work for all that. I'm not worried about the computer because the Chromebooks that they give them from school um is very limited to what they can do. Now she does as a PC at home, but something tells me she may or may not try to get any use out of that. But she only had no internet on that because I have the Wi-Fi cord, or I have the cord, not the Wi-Fi cord. I know Wi-Fi is wireless. Come on now. But when my daughter said that why don't you just say my arms tonight? Why don't we press hard when my daughter got in trouble? She's like, Daddy, you disappointed me. I'm not disappointed. I just don't understand why you're doing it. And I tell my daughter, you're not a disappointment. In life, you're gonna make mistakes, but you must learn them now. Because I'm trying to prepare you for the real world because after the after you graduate, like I'm trying to tell my 18-year-old, the world's gonna hit you hard. It was never like nothing like we were back in the day. When we graduated, we just went out there and got a job. Now it's 10 times harder than what it is now, than what it was back in our day. Ten times harder. Because you got the power of social media, it's like everybody's in your business or whatever or whatnot. And I'm like, okay, wow. So but I never tell my kids I'm disappointed if I'm if there's if they do something that I don't like, I say, well, I don't approve of that. I don't like that. But I think offering positive encouragement, which is what I do, and like I said, I never pit my girls against each other. I never say you should be like your sister because your sister's doing better than you. I never say that ever. I don't even do my boys like that. And my oldest son, which is 23, and he's still trying to find himself. I still give him positive encouragement. And now we may get into some disagreements sometimes, but he doesn't disrespect me, and I don't disrespect him. Because if he does disrespect me, he knows what's gonna happen. He's liable to wake up someplace uh on a ventilator, real talk. But that's the kind of parent I am. I'm not a hard ass. I'm not, but I will not be disrespected by no kids. When I was a school bus driver, that uh I got out of that business. It wasn't really wasn't for the kids, it was because of the management. But I've had plenty of white kids. Oh my god, I must have been driving out in uh one of these rich right communities, and a young girl told me she's like, You're gonna wait for me because I need to go get my stuff. I quickly shut my door and I that bus went on to the next stop. That little heifer found me three stops later and apologized. Her mother was like, Thank you. And I'm like, What'd I do? She's like, You have no idea. And that's sad. That's sad. Why should you have to do that to your parents? Why? You know, your parents are the ones who bring who they they breathe life into you, they brought you in this world. Why disrespect somebody who knows what they have tomorrow and if you'll see them tomorrow? You know, nobody has promised tomorrow. Nobody. I live each day to the fullest. I thank God for waking me up. I thank God for seeing my beautiful children. I thank God for all the love and support that He is giving with my children. So, Miss Angel, if your daughter, what is her name? Aries is listening. Um Aries, I want to say this to you. Continue to be. You're only 13 years old. Don't let anybody influence you on who you should be. Don't be a follower, be a leader. If you see something that somebody else is doing, don't do it because you think that you won't get in trouble. I got news for you well, and I'm gonna tell you like I tell my daughters, being your own person is the most easiest thing you can do. But as I keep saying, if you want to pursue a different persona or try to live two separate lives or three different lives or whatever, it is hard to keep up with. It is much easier to be yourself and to come into your own and to find your way in life than to piggyback off somebody else. Because as I tell my kids, friends come and go, especially after high school. You may or you may not see them. When I graduated high school, I was happy, a little bit sad because I wanted to go to school, but I don't see none of the people that I either knew or really hung around with. I can't really say new because I wasn't a popular guy back in high school. My sisters, they were popular, but I wasn't. I didn't really care, I didn't care for the whole friends or anything like that. But Miss Aries, you have an opportunity and an obligation to be who you can be for yourself, not for no one else. Don't let your friends take you down a path that's going to sour your relationship with your parents. If they want to treat their parents like crap, that's fine. But maybe step in and say, Well, hey, why do you treat your parents like that? Do you think that's fair? Do you think that's right? And if they say, well, and if they say because she deserves it, well, ask them this. Why would you treat somebody like that when you never know that person can leave tomorrow? And then where would you be? Where would you be? Because when we lost my wife, um, and the kids lost their mother, we thought that was the most hardest thing that was dealt to us. And we and we and she was the backbone of this family. She did everything right, nothing wrong. She was a good wife, she was a good mother, she was a great provider, a great provider. I am still trying to match her energy to this very day. So though my kids are grateful for me being there as a father, I can't feel the role of their mother. And though we say a prayer and we talk to her, and she comes to them in a dream and she speaks, I'm grateful for that because they get to see. My daughter told me the other day, she woke up crying, she said, Dad, I seen mom and I got to talk to her, and she told me that she was doing okay and that everything was fine and that she loved me. I believe in stuff like that. I do, I do, because I think that after our loved ones they leave you, they're not really gone away from you. It's like I will see you next time, or I'll see you later, and I believe that. So Miss Harry's Angel. I think what you're doing is admirable. I think what you're doing is a parent is you're doing you're doing what you need to do in a parent. You're not indulging her every move. The talk, the one-on-one talk, keep having those. And for those who are listening to the show or this podcast, always stay engaged in your child's life no matter what. Be a parent, not a friend. Because a friend's not gonna get you anywhere, but being a parent will get you everything. And though your kids may be mad at you for like maybe five or ten minutes of the time out of a day or whatever, I'd rather have that than not knowing anything about my damn kids. I really really so as we get ready to wrap the show up. I want to say thank you guys for um coming back to the show. Um show drops every Wednesday. Well, for those who's listening on live, it kind of drops for you now because you listen to me live. But um if you're live with me on Twitch, uh the link is in the description. Uh please click the link, and you can follow me on most of my social media accounts. IG, TikTok. I have Facebook, I don't really use Facebook that much, but I have it. So um most of the pages are open. Um, we will post on the uh on the pages. Um I do like trying to post on the page. I'm trying to do a little bit things a lot more different, but it's gonna be all good. So I want to say thank you guys for listening to the show. I enjoy the feedback. Um, the people here on BuzzCast, I appreciate you guys chiming in and just saying, hey, you know. So next week we are going to try to be on TikTok in BuzzCast, and we're going to try to either have an open conversation for those who wanted like come and chime in. Um, but I hope we can do that, we can do that respectfully. Um, I don't talk politics, even though I do have a letter in my um in my inbox that they clearly want to discuss politics. I might stay on it for like maybe five or six minutes, but I'm not a politician kind of guy. Um, as I said before, I think that politics, it doesn't matter who's in the office. I mean, clearly there's an asshole in the office now, but it doesn't matter who's in office, nobody's ever gonna be happy. I think politics is a never-ending battle, it's a never-ending story, and that I am icon, the show is called Let's Talk About It. As we get ready to go out, I'm gonna let y'all listen to this next track. Uh, it's called Ocean by Mr. Um, and I want to say, hey, thank y'all for tuning in. Feel free to email me, D6 Empire357 at gmail.com. If you have any questions, concerns, comments, something you do, something you don't like, whatever. I listen to anything. So, until next time, I'm gonna let y'all groove.