Let's Talk About It

Growing Up Means Hearing No And Moving On

• Derick

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We walk through the core skills that turn dating from chaos into character: hearing “no” without rewriting it as “maybe,” recognizing when persistence crosses into stalking, and separating workplace warmth from real-world interest. We talk cultural nuance, too—the weight of family expectations, visas, and study or work priorities—without using any of that as a shortcut past someone’s boundaries. Consent is simple. Respect is non-negotiable.

From there we get practical. How to make a respectful ask, once. How to rebuild after rejection with therapy, social skill reps, and a life that stands on its own. How to use dating apps as opt-in spaces and avoid fixating on anyone who hasn’t clearly chosen you back. And we share hard-earned lessons about growing up, apologizing for past mistakes, and choosing behaviors that keep everyone safe.


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SPEAKER_01:

It's the name of the child.

SPEAKER_00:

We don't get started here in a minute, y'all. Let y'all groove with this one a little bit. Y'all doing all right? Everybody good out there on BuzzCast. Yes, yes, yes. No, I gotta get my vape on. All right. Hopefully everybody's doing good out there today. Everybody doing all right. Oh, I hope everybody's having a good week, good weekend, good day, or whatever. I know I am. Been a long, long, long week. Work. Jesus, work is like kind of slowed down. Not sure why that trap is in there twice, but whatever, we'll let it ride. Any event, I want to welcome you out to the show. I am the icon. The show is called Let's Talk About It. Where I take where I have people send me letters just for advice. Sometimes advice is good, sometimes hey, you can love or hate it. Or accept it or don't. Just do this shit for fun. But you know, I've been told I give out good advice, so I just try to keep doing what I do, you know. Um we got a letter from a uh from a gentleman who's uh concerned about his girlfriend, or so he says, but whatever, it is what it is. But before we get started, we're gonna have some changes coming. I'm gonna be joined by a co-host hopefully next week. Um I think I found a co-host, or if anybody ever wants to co-host with me, feel free to drop a line. My links are on all my socials, even on bus uh bus routes. You guys can hit me up, and if there's any and everything you want to talk about, please feel free to drop that line. D6Mpire357 at gmail.com. So it's a little bit late today. I had a lot of running around to do, hence why I'm getting to this now. But if you're here tomorrow, I'll have a letter for you tomorrow as well, too. So I went and bought some furniture today, you know, feeling pretty good about that. I haven't bought furniture in years. That shit was heavy as hell. Lord, I'm getting old, I'm not as young as I used to be, but whatever. That's what I got kids for. So, in any event, without further ado, let's go ahead and get into this letter from um his name is uh Jimmy. He's 23 years old, he's from Moses Lake, Washington. So, it's kind of odd when I read this letter. Um, didn't know what to think of it or how to approach it, but I'm gonna try to approach the best way I can. So, hope you guys got your vape, your tea, or whatever. Let's sit back and enjoy the ride on this one. Also, uh, you know what, I'll say that to the end of the show. I don't want to give away too too much spoilers because I got a lot of heat, well not a lot of heat, but a lot of feedback, good feedback on the last letter that I did. Um, which I believe was uh shoot hell, I don't know without looking at the title, but in any event, we'll get through that. We'll get to that after we get through this letter. But like I said, I'm going to have a new co-host, she goes by Queen Gifts. Um, you can follow her on the social medias. I also drop those social medias in my like in my description or on my page as well. Without further ado, let's get into it, shall we? Okay, so letter is entitled My Girlfriend. Alright, here we go. Icon, my guy, good day to you. I hope you can help me with my girl. Okay, my name is Jimmy. I'm 23 years old from Moses Lake, Washington. I work in a salvage yard. I'm currently I currently live in the basement of my parents, and I'm not trying to I'm trying to get myself together as far as getting my own home. Social circle is not that big, but I do okay. I'm like you, I don't have many friends because I don't want drama. So here's my issue. This girl that I'm currently seeing is having a hard time falling in love with me. Wait, what the hell? Okay, this girl that I'm currently seeing is having a hard time falling in love with me because she said her father wouldn't allow her to date me because I'm white and she's from India. Oh, got it. Okay, now that makes sense now. I forgot, you know, I read so many letters, so that's why I'm like, what the hell? So I was kind of baffled, so yeah, because I'm white, she's Indian, she's here on a visa. I don't know what type of visa that is, I don't know neither. But all I know is that she is the wind beneath my wings, and when we talk, my world is on fire with happiness. She is definitely the my one heart truly desires. So I met her at a local Starbucks, and when she said hi to me, I knew that she was one for me. Really? You got all that out of hi? Jesus. Okay, whatever. Uh you know, love, you know love, I guess. Any event. You see, since I've been going to Starbucks, she's always been she's always said hi to me. And when she calls my name, I know she says it differently than other people do. Like, wait, when she does, I get so excited like a kid in a candy store. Okay, does she work at Starbucks? She's so beautiful. I can't really see much of her face because she wears a hijab. And that's okay as long as she likes me and I and I like her. I don't care what it is. I've told my parents about her, my mom doesn't really say much because she feels I'm not ready to date because of my last breakup. I have problems dating in the past because I can't seem to keep a girlfriend longer than two weeks. My parents think I need to develop more maturely and focus on myself because they said I should be in my own place, and I'm like, really? Make that make sense. Okay, we're gonna make that make sense later on. So the last girl I dated, I decided I decided her and who I was, and then I had issues, and I honestly don't know what issues they are. I tell you about my last relationship, so I was dating a girl at the same age as me, but I must admit I've told a lie or two to get her, but I knew I loved her and she loved me. So when we met, I met her at a coffee shop called Dutch Bros. You need coffee shops. I mean the conversation started as good. Always asked me how my day is and how she's going, and smiled at me, and I knew that she was the one for me. Okay, this is we're talking about a different girl here, so I think we're talking about a past relationship, so let's not get confused. So I asked her out for coffee. We went out, had a great time, even though I thought it was I thought she was the one. I thought, wait, we had a great time, even though it was at the one that she works at. But again, we chatted about the day and her work and how she said that she worked two jobs for school, and I said, Wow, that's awesome. So this went on for a week, and though I had a good time, I was told I couldn't return to a status because her manager said it was some form of harassment. So I got angry, went home, talked to my parents. My mom said, as usual, she said I was stalking this girl, and then I needed to stay, and then I needed to stay, or I could get wait, that I was stalking this girl, and that I needed to stay away, or I could get into trouble. Okay, I got it. But I was pissed that she would say something like that because this is my girlfriend, and I loved her, and I knew that we were gonna be together eventually. So I didn't listen to her. I returned to the coffee shop where I was confronted again by management, and I told her that I was that there was for my girlfriend, I called her by name. Okay, hold on. There for my girlfriend, I called her name or screamed the name in the parking lot where I broke down with anger, and I caused a scene so bad the police was called and I was told never to return to the coffee shop or I would go to jail. And they would charge me with trespass, so I stopped and I didn't see her again. So back to the girl at Starbucks icon. Okay, so let's gonna make this make sense. So the the the second part that I was explaining was that he was talking about a past relationship that a girl that he met at a coffee shop called Dutch Brothers. Now we're going back to Starbucks, where he currently met this other girl, who Jesus Christ, this letter does not sound anywhere near as the shit that I would do, but whatever, we'll get through it. So back to my girl at Starbucks icon. I need your help in trying to get her to fall in love with me. Or do you have any advice on what I should do to fall for her to fall in love with me? I feel that if I just continue to go there eventually, it will happen, right? Uh hell no. Jesus. What would you do if a girl says your name like the way she says mine? What I mean, I know I would mostly definitely try to stand out stand on business with her and try everything to be with her, but I truly think that she's the one for me. Oh, sign Jimmy. Okay, so this letter was a different one for me. Um, I don't really deal with shit like this, Jimmy. Um, I would say you definitely have some issues because you're calling this girl your girlfriend, and this girl works at a Starbucks where they have to say your damn name for because your damn coffee, latte, ice latte, whatever the hell is ready. I don't do coffee, I don't do ice lattes, I don't even do Starbucks. It's a racket, it's this it's annoying. Um, the fact that you keep calling this girl your girlfriend is ridiculous, and I don't know if there was some part down the line where you guys actually dated, which if she's from India, I don't know how Indian relationships are, um, because India relationships are different than traditional. Um, well, well, hold on. I don't know if she's here on a work visa, which is what I'm which I think is what it is, then clearly um her family is traditionally I don't I don't know. I didn't really do enough research on this letter to understand the Indian culture um and how they date and how they keep everything in the family, like some races overseas do. When I say they keep everything in the family, they keep every damn single thing in the family. So, Jimmy, um, of course I had questions for you, and the questions that I had for him was that when you say that they're your girlfriends, are they physically your girlfriends, or are you just saying that because you talked to them? He says, Well, I don't know, because I don't know how to talk to women, so I assumed that it was that way. And I was like, How's that? I don't know, I just thought if I showed up enough times they would like me. I asked Jimmy, Did your relationship, did your last relationship or whatever you call the encounter, did it result in restraining order? He said, Not yet, but it was very close. I also asked Jimmy, so you really haven't dated a woman since when? He said high school. I said, Is this a joke? He said, No, but seriously, I need your help. I don't understand what the big deal is. I need help in trying to get a woman so I can leave my parents out so I can be productive in life. Okay, so those are the questions I asked Jimmy. Um Troopy told Jimmy, I think you have issues. I think you have a form of I don't even know what the hell to call it. You're clearly stalking these females because clearly you think that they are your they are your girlfriends, but they're clearly they're not. You don't you you you just talk they say hi to you, they say your damn name because they have to call your damn name for coffee. I don't know how Dutch Brothers works, but I know how Starbucks works. I only know that because my damn kids go there all the time. And I do a pickup for DoorDashes one time, it was just horrible. But let's get back on subject because it's not about me, it's about Jimmy. Jimmy, you clearly have issues. I can in no form, shape, form, or fashion endorse Um something like this because I'm not trying to be an accessory uh to anything that I would say on my damn podcast because you told me or I told you something um in reference to because I told you something in reference to my show, so let's not get it twisted. No, hold on, my damn cat. No, get down. Hang on, y'all, my cats here. Here, say hi. Look, see, say hi. Oh, okay. You guys gonna say something? Yeah, alright. Okay, my cat. Get on, Bella. Yeah, there you go. Okay, so Jimmy, I I don't know what I can tell you. The only thing I can tell you to do is that I think your your mother's right. I think you need to grow up. I think you need to um mature a little more because you what's clear to me looks like you almost had a restraining word put on you from the girl that you I don't want to say stalked, but I'm gonna say stalked. You stalked a girl, and clearly she was not your girl. It doesn't matter how many times you go to a place. If a female wants to engage with you, she will interact with you. It's okay for you to say hi, it's okay for you to maybe ask her out, and if she says no, she says no. I get the feeling that you do not know how to take rejection really well. I really do. I get the feeling that since high school, I'm not sure what kind of person you were in high school. I don't know if you were famous, not famous, nerd, geek to cheek, I don't know. But clearly, Jimmy, you have some serious issues that need to be dealt with. My friend, I would encourage you to get into counseling and get into therapy because the way you're going and trying to force somebody to love you, I don't know how the hell you'll even do that. I mean, I would say something, but then I'm not gonna say it because I don't want Uh the law looking at me like I encourage this kind of behavior because clearly I don't encourage this kind of behavior. I think that it's kind of odd that I got this letter, but then again, I do tell you guys you guys can rhyme about anything. And I just pray to God that I don't get a knock on the door from the PD saying that you know went full rage mode or you crashed out and you decided to put my name in this shit because clearly I'm not in it. I'm just a podcaster who's going to give you advice on advice to say, well, maybe you should get into counseling, maybe you should listen to what your parents says or what your mom says and learn to understand that just because you speak to somebody doesn't mean they like you. People speak to people on a daily basis, they say hi. Hell, if I say hi to you, does that make me like you? No, it doesn't. So, I don't know what I can do for you, Mr. Jimmy. I think that you had I don't know where you got the the notion from that talking to a woman, you assume that it happens this way. Clearly, you are 23 years old and you clearly understand that it does not happen this way. You clearly understand that in life, if you've had a girlfriend in high school, then in life, this is clearly not. I'm trying to figure out how you got the girl in high school, but then again, that's not for me to know. I'm just trying to figure out how to get you through this ladder. I think that if you're getting to a point where you are trying to take possession of a female who how do you know she didn't have an interest in you? I mean, I'm really curious about the girl at Starbucks. You said that she's from India, she's here on a work visa. Um you're white, and she said I'm currently seeing hang on, let me read this girl that I'm currently seeing is having a hard time falling in love with me. Because she said her father wouldn't allow her to date me. Okay, so clearly you've talked to this girl. Clearly, you've had some kind of interaction with her. That's fine, that's all good. Again, I don't know how Indian culture is when it comes to dating. Matter of fact, let's see if we can look this up right quick. Okay. Maybe this will give you some insight. So I don't know, I didn't really say much that I'm I'm trying to find here. Okay, so apparently, yes, some Indian individuals date white men. So such relationships can sometimes involve into navigating cultural differences and family expectations. But if she's traditional, then everything kind of stays um in the family, sort of speak. Um, and I have a feeling that if her people, if her parent doesn't want to want you to date her, I don't know. They she might just be here just I don't I don't even know. You said she's here for a work visa, right? So, I mean, I'm not even sure what kind of quality relationship she would have with this young lady, knowing that her family probably doesn't want she's if she's there for school, she's clearly studying for something, something bigger, something better, and she's there to make her life a little bit better. So I think dating is not even in her category right now. While it may be okay to you know engage her and say, Hey, how you doing, and how's life going? But I think that's probably what it's only gonna get right from right there. I don't think it's gonna be anything that's gonna transpire into that because some of these foreigners that come here and work, they are content on one thing only, and that is increasing their knowledge, and that is helping their family succeed to a better life. And I'm not saying that she's not looking for anybody, but I don't really think that she is looking for anybody. Listen, I work with a young lady um who wears a hijab, I don't see anything wrong with them. Um, she's a very beautiful young lady, um, but not once do I think that I'm gonna say, well, you know, I think she should be with me, you know. I I think she's cute, you know. No, no, it is a strictly professional relationship because you can't really force yourself, you can't force anybody to love you, you can't force anybody to like you. The only thing you can do is be yourself. Now, if your mom says you're too immature to date and you're 23 years old and you're still living in her d in the bottom of her damn basement, yeah, I think it's time for you to make some life choices and try to do some things differently. And what I mean by doing things differently, stay focused on you, you know, because in life, um when you're ready and when it's gonna happen, it will happen. It's definitely going to happen for you. But you sitting, you kind of like throwing yourself out there and trying to say that this girl is yours when clearly she's not yours, is just absolutely stalking behavior. I mean, let's be honest. I can't endorse that and I won't endorse that. You need to understand, Mr. Jimmy, that life has real consequences. Again, I would urge you, my friend, to either seek some kind of counseling, some kind of therapy, some kind of something. Because clearly I think you're having issues. I think it's only gonna get bad before it gets worse. I'm not saying that you're a bad person, because I don't really know you. I only go by what I hear from these letters. But if you're clearly serious about trying to meet somebody, well, there's ways of doing that. There's ways of doing that. Um, you have a job, you live in the basement, and I get that your social circle is not that big because my social circle is not that big, and my social circle is not that big because I just don't do friends because I don't like the drama. And I'm not saying all the friends that I have have drama, but I just I'm kind of a loner. I like to keep to myself, I like to take care of my kids, like to go to work, and I like to do this podcast. So I think that the way I live now versus what I lived in the past is still somewhat similar because I don't keep a full circle of friends. I was not the popular person in high school. That was all my sisters, every last one of my sisters, they were popular, me not popular, I was only popular because of them, and I was the only boy at the time. Like I said, my little brother didn't get it until 93. So by that time I was getting ready to graduate. I graduated in 97. I was not a popular person, and I don't really care that I wasn't a popular person. I just it's not me. So and I know some of you guys might think and say, well, you gotta have some friends. That's true, you may have to have some friends. And then I don't I really consider the people that I work with, I consider them friends, but I work with them. Would I want to hang out with them? Not really. I don't really I'm sorry, I'm I'm it's just the way that I am. I mean, I don't know if some of you guys online in chat can relate to this, but I just like to be me. You know, in this day and age, there's a lot that goes into dating. There's a lot of there's a lot of like oh my gosh, there's so much you gotta look for because you have social medias back in our day, dating was just so simple. You write a note, you tell a girl you liked her, will you go out with me, yes or no? And then that was it. Now you got so many goddamn apps that tell you what the hell to do. You got so many apps to tell you who you can screw, who you're not gonna screw, does she like you, does she does she doesn't like you? I mean, what the hell? I mean, what happened to traditionally just going to say, Well, hey, you know, my name is so-and-so, you want to go out sometime? What happened to that? We can't even do that shit anymore. I don't even know why the hell we can't do that. We gotta do everything that's based on an app. So I think it's harder for the up-and-coming generation to date versus what we did back in the past, because back in the past, again, we can approach a girl, tell her who we was, and then and then just leave it at that. She could say yes or no. But now you have so much bullshit, so many freaking apps to tell you what to do. And Jimmy, you didn't say if you were getting on any of these apps, which I I mean if you do, you do, you don't, you don't. I mean, they have so many apps out there that's just so ridiculous. That to me, I'm old school, I've always been old school. Now, just because I'm old school doesn't mean I can't get with the new school because I got kids. I got kids, especially I got kids. So I have kids, and even though I'm aware that they're dating, and I see what they're going through, and it's like really weird because a lot of the shit that they do now, we wouldn't know near put it with this shit back in the day, like real talk. But the only thing I could offer you, Jimmy, would be just some advice, some advice to say, well, if you really want to get to know this girl, I would say have a sit-down conversation with her, but you probably can't do that because you're seems like you're on your way to a restraining order. And let me tell you, my friend, getting a restraining order is not fun. No, I have not had one, I haven't, even though I should have had one in the past because I did a girl really dirty, I did it really wrong. I think when she broke up with me, I kind of caused well, not too much drama, but I think I was too in love with her just to let her go. And that was my own fault, you know, because I think once we find somebody that who we really love and that who we invest our time in, I think we were together for maybe maybe about six months. And I know that you guys say this in a long time, but for us, well, for me it was a long damn time. But I think after she broke up with me, I kind of went to a darker place and I started doing like stupid shit. You know, I would like go fuck with her car or um put sugar in her tank, or I would go to her job and like stalker on her job, and and it was wrong of me. And I have since apologizing that young lady for that. I mean, it's been when you're young, you do a lot of stupid shit, and I don't like doing stupid shit like that because I'm trying to get my kids to understand that they need to be respectful, no matter what happens or the way it happens, you should always be respectful of each other's face. If you get if you if someone breaks up with you, just walk away. Now I know that we put so much time and effort into these relationships that we just don't know how to walk away because we're worried about who that other person is and we're worried about how we're going to make it. But I got news for you: you can make it, you can make it, and you can do bigger and better things when you're by yourself because that's the time to reflect, it's a time to heal, it's a time to do some soul searching. And right now, Mr. Jimmy, I think you need to do a lot of soul searching, a lot of that, and I'm only saying that because what you're leaning towards is some kind of stalkish behavior that's gonna eventually get you landed in jail, it's gonna get you in jail time, and you don't understand when stalking somebody that puts that does something to a female, it does, you know, because females shouldn't have to go through that, they shouldn't have to be stalked or try to make you fall to try to make them fall in love with you. If it's not there, it's not there. Let it go, let it go, do yourself a favor and get on to the next one. Oh, this cat is getting on my nerves. But no woman should be subjected to any man's like selfish behavior because you feel the need that you should be with this woman. You can't make anybody love you, you can't make anybody fall in love with you. Loving people is hard work in a relationship, it's very hard work. So while I would challenge you to oh man, I still think you should kind of seek some kind of counseling, maybe some kind of therapy. Um, I don't know really where you go from here. If you talk to your mom or your parents, it sounds like they're trying to guide you in the right direction. Let them guide you in the right direction. Don't be selfish and do something stupid. Because guess who's gonna ultimately pay the price? You're gonna pay the price, but the person's gonna pay the even harder price is that female that you stalked. Because why? She's gonna have PTSD, she's gonna have trauma from this. Because that's what's scary, because women are I think women are just the best thing ever in this world. And I just think the shit that they go through they shouldn't have to go through because somebody decides that they feel the need that they should be with them instead of just you doing them the most rational thing and trying to approach this young lady. Now, I hope and pray that this doesn't come back on me because if it does, I don't really know you because there's no picture, thank God. But I'm not gonna say it is, and I'm not gonna say it isn't. I'm gonna say it isn't because I've never had this kind of letter before. But I think what you need to understand, Mr. Jimmy, is that the chips fall where the chips fall, and if this young lady is just not feeling you, she's just not feeling you. It's time for you to move on, it's time for you to. I mean, you said you work, you work. I mean, I can't really man. I would say to get on a dating site, but you already know what I'm gonna say, so I don't want anybody thinking like, oh, he always gotta go to the Filipino shit. No, I'm sorry. I love Filipino women. I'm sorry, I love exotic women. That's just my flavor, that's my taste, that's my pleasure. Real talk. So, but I'm pretty sure there's a lot of good women in the US. There is a ton of women, good women in the US. The only hard thing is it's just finding them because it's like finding a needle in a haystack, so it's gonna take some time, and yes, it did take me some time to find me a young Filipino lady, so but that's that's just me. In any event, I think that you should maybe try to figure this out with your parents. I think you should continue to talk to them because it seems like they're trying to support you the best way they possibly can. And if they're saying you're immature, well, you still are immature because you're fresh out, you're only 23 years old, you're fresh out, so you haven't even probably been in a high school for like maybe uh when do you graduate? I don't know when graduated. Well, if you're fresh out, you graduated high school, you're in a work world, so you're still trying to navigate how this world is supposed to be or how this world is gonna be for you. Don't start this world off on the wrong foot, start off on the right foot. Because if you start off on the wrong foot, then it's only gonna get worse, it's only gonna go downhill from here. If you like this Indian girl, well, how do you know that there's not another Indian girl out there that you could probably possibly try to date? Maybe try to find an Indian dating site. I don't know. I'm just saying split balling here. I'm just saying, you guys. I'm just saying that she can't be the only girl, and I and I get it, you know. I think that when a man meets a young female and he probably starts fantasizing about how she could possibly be the one for him, and she probably could be, she probably could be, but how do you even know that it's gonna work? Because if you said that her father said she's not gonna date, I got news for you. I don't think it's so much of her father, it could be it could be 50% of her father, and then other 50% could be her because she's here studying. If she's going to school, which is what it sounds like, she has a work visa, she's probably trying to make a better life for herself. You didn't really tell you how old this girl was, and you didn't really give me any names or any specifics, but and she's from India. Hey, they're all geared around, they're all about coming here to work and try to provide better for themselves and their family. There's nothing wrong with that, but they don't want to be sidetracked by a relationship. Uh, that's the thing about women here or in other cultures. When they come here to do the job, they come here to do a job, they stay focused on doing a job, they don't get sidetracked by a relationship because, in a relationship, there's a lot of hard work, and they gotta worry about you know, this, that, family, boyfriend, and if there's gonna be a kid involved, who knows? But she seems like she's fairly focused on trying to get herself together, which is what you should be focused on. It is okay to have a social circle, it is okay to maybe say, Hey, can we be friends? Can we go off for coffee sometime? Maybe we can talk, but leave it at that. Don't force yourself on this young lady because if you're gonna force yourself on this young lady, that's a good way on how women will always oh lord, that's a good way of how women will just always be you'll get pushed away by women, and then what makes it bad for your generation or the newer age of dating is that they can tag you, they can tag you and post. I mean, freaking TikTok is the freaking worst. I mean, they can put you out there like that. You don't want to be known as somebody like that. You want to be known as somebody that is caring and compassionate of women. I respect women, I love women. I mean, I love women so much, I just I enjoy what they do and I respect what they do because they have the most hardest job in the world. I mean, they they put up with a lot of shit from any and everybody, especially us males. And yes, I have given plenty of women back in my day plenty of shit, and I have since apologized to most of those women because I wasn't right in my right frame of mind, but I didn't disrespect them. I may have done some stalking type shit or some bullying type shit, and when I say bullying, I'm talking about like, well, I don't really want to say bullying because I don't really bully anybody, but like, I guess you know what I did, I've been where you at. Okay, I've done the shit that you've done, but the only by the good grace of God is I didn't get thrown in jail for because I had sisters that would go upside my damn head, even though I was the oldest, that they would tell me, this ain't the way you're gonna go, bro. It's not. And I listened to that. You know, since being out of high school, and trust me, I'm a lot older than you, Jimmy, a lot older. Since being out of high school, I have evolved. You know, there was a girl that I dated back in the day. Um, I apologized to her, and she kind of apologized to me. I'm not even sure how it even went down or what had happened. I think it's because I was dating uh my late wife and her at the same time, and then she apologized to me, and I apologized to her. But we were young. That's what happens. You know, when you're younger, you're allowed to make mistakes because you're going to learn from those mistakes and you're going to evolve into a better person. And when you evolve into a better person, then you know things, good things start happening. You know, better things start happening. But if you keep going down this road of trying to make somebody fall in love with you, well, that's never going to happen. You're going to get blacklisted. You're going to get tagged. You're going to get you're going to be put on social media. And like I said, TikTok is the freaking worst. I love TikTok, but damn, if they don't know how to ruin a life, because you ruined your own life, because they will surely put it out there for you. I mean, you don't really want that. So the only advice I can offer you would to just be smart about this, would just be to listen to your parents to continue to evolve into the young man that you are going to be, that you're going to aspire to be. Don't take every interaction with a female as an invitation of she's going to be mine or she wants to be with me. I'm trying to figure out in my mind, since I've been doing this whole podcast, how in the hell does she say your name? Did she say coffee for Jimmy? Jimmy Coffee. Or was she like, Jimmy, coffee is ready. I'm just saying. I mean, because usually when you're in Starbucks, they say coffee for Jimmy, coffee for Jimmy. That's it. That's all you get. It's no really no special way. I mean, I know the accent probably threw you off and you was like, oh my god. Yeah, I like the way she said that. Yeah. Yeah, I could see myself with her. But that's all it is. It's an accent. It's the way she talks. I mean, this is why I love exotic women because they say my name like, ooh, Lord, yes. Yes. At a moment. But you gotta understand. If she's saying, I don't think she's saying your name to be like sexual about it. She's just saying coffee for Mr. Jimmy. I don't even know how any people talk, so I can't really do imitate their. I'm not gonna even try. But in any event. I appreciate the letter, Jimmy. I do. But I can't in good conscience tell you how you should try to get this girl to fall in love with you. You want somebody to fall in love with you, you need to continue to be yourself. You need to be honest with yourself, you need to just put it all out there. When you go approach a woman, say hi, how you doing? I'm Jimmy. Would you like to go out sometime? Now, that's the way I would approach it. I mean, y'all have apps for everything to tell you how to approach women, because I don't know. I mean, I can say thank god I'm older, but since I had to start this whole cycle all over again, but then again, you know, over there it's a lot different to approach a woman than a woman over here. But there are still some really good women out here in the states that still admire a man that can approach her with the utmost respect, confidence, and the utmost just being yourself. You know, you don't have to change who you are, you don't have to, and if you go into a place where you see the same girl every day, well, hello, duh. She works there. You go to the same place for coffee every damn day. Hello. I mean, I don't think she means anything by that. So stop taking it as an invitation of that she likes me, she likes she wants to be with me because that's not the way it is, it's clearly not the way it is. So you got to understand, Jimmy, that when you talk to a female, and let me tell you something, Jimmy. I've been where you at in that situation because I used to think that every girl I talked to um like wanted me, and I think my problem was that I had a lot of sisters, so most of my friends were females, and I didn't really have a lot of male friends because I can relate so much to the female. But with that being said, when I had these um when I had these females that were friends, we were just cool. I mean, there's some that ended in relationships and some that didn't end so well, not so good relationships, but at the end of the day, um, I did my wrongdoing. Um like I said, I'm not totally blameless in none of this because I'm not putting all this on the women. I would probably say it's more of a uh more of a 60-40 split with 60 being me because I had sisters, and even though I didn't have a good social circle, well, when you're the only male around and you know you have get-togethers or your mother had a basketball girls' basketball team or drill team, then hey, you tend to have fun with these females, and I'm not talking about nothing sexual, so let's not get it twisted. No, we didn't do none of that, you know, it's not that it wasn't as far advanced back in the day as it is today. So back then you can actually hang out with the female and have a good time, versus now y'all's idea is hanging out, is getting to is going to the room five minutes and meeting each other. That ain't me. No, hell no. Hold on, I gotta get some of my tea that red diamond. That's good tea. Yeah, it's good, yeah, it's good right there. But I've been where you at. I've done the things somewhat similar, but maybe yeah, like I said before, but continue to do you, continue to stay focused on you, continue to make your improve yourself, be better for yourself. You never know. You could meet somebody maybe the next day, tomorrow, today, tomorrow, somewhere down the road, and y'all can click instantly. And she can also be of Indian descent. I mean, I'm not sure if that's your thing or not, but it doesn't matter to me. Any woman that you meet that you might come across, I think if you're just yourself and you just be yourself, then I think you're gonna be good. Now, you say you don't know how to talk to women, I didn't know how to talk to women either. My sister did all that shit for me, but as time went through, I still don't know how to talk to women. So all I know how to do is just be respectful to them, talk to them, and tell them that um if you there's something you want to talk about, and nine times out of ten, that's what I was. I was a good listener, you know, because a lot of the women that I came across had issues with their boyfriends or just had issues in general. Now I didn't take advantage of that because that's not who I am as a person. Because when if you take advantage of the situation, then ultimately that situation will definitely come back on you. And I was not the one to say I would like to break up a happy home, or if this girl was dating this guy, I was trying to figure out a way how I can get with her so she couldn't be with him. Yes, I have done that before, but that never worked out good for me. Never because it doesn't, because if you're scheming trying to get with somebody who's already emotional damaged because of what she's going through with her boyfriend, well, how do you know it's gonna be better for you? It's not clearly it's not, it's it's not. God, I love vape, but only thing I can tell you is that be respectful. If you go to the Starbucks and you see this young lady again, just say, hey, how you doing? You ain't gotta give her the cold shoulder, you ain't gotta sit there and say what I said. If it's meant to be, it will be. But as I'm telling you, as I'm thinking in my in my mind, I think she's there to focus on her studies, her work, and her family. Maybe in the reverse order, family, studies, then work, or whatever order it is. I think that's what she's clearly there for. Now, if her father says that she doesn't think she's good enough for you, well, I got daughters. I don't think there's anybody who's gonna be good enough for my daughters, but that's just the way I am because I'm a father. But that's not gonna stop me from hearing the person out. If this young lady, if she truly desires your heart, or if you want to try to win her heart, be respectful. Be respectful. Maybe if you want to ask her out, that's just dinner, lunch, maybe lunch. I wouldn't say dinner. Well, I'd probably go up to lunch. Maybe you guys can talk and try to figure things out. Because clearly, I don't think she's your girlfriend. I think this is just somebody who you are infatuated with, I think this is somebody that you like. And if she says no, Jimmy, then you got to leave it at that. There's no getting there's no getting even, there's no getting back at her, there's no saying, well, what you're gonna do, this, that, and the other, because it's not gonna be good. It's not, it's really not, and you don't want no stalking charge in your damn background because that makes it so much harder for you. I mean, that's the thing you young people gotta understand today. You young people in dating, it just really makes me so sick. It really does. And there are some couples, there are some young couples that are good about dating, but for the most part, this new generation of dating, these freaking apps. I mean, y'all have an app for every single damn thing. I'm gonna keep saying it again, every single damn thing. Again, back in my day, we didn't have this. We passed a note. Sarah, do you like me? Yes or no? Yes. Do you want to go out with me? Yes. That's that's that's all we did. We weren't all about the flash or the drip or the or the crash out or none of that. We just been ourselves. That's all you gotta do. Now, if this advice is not good for you and you don't like my advice, dang, I'm just giving you what I know. So I am not one shape, or form or fashion a love doctor. I'm not hitch. So I can't tell you how you're gonna get this girl. And if you want to spend that kind of money on somebody to tell you what you should do to try to get a girl, then hey, that's your business, not mine. I don't know if anybody does that today, but I think I'm on the same page as your parents. I think that your parents want the best for you. I surely want the best for you because I don't want you to end up in a place that's gonna take you down a rabbit hole. Because once you sprout to that rabbit hole, it's just something that you can't control. And again, if this girl says no, then you move on to the next one. Or maybe just continue, like I said before, get yourself together. So, Mr. Jimmy, as we wrap this, we wrap this podcast up. I really hope this letter finds you in a good way. Um, if you want to update me on your progress, feel free to email me d6mpire357gmail.com. Now, for my listeners, as I said before, so the last letter I did, hold on here. Let me see if I can get this pulled up. Uh okay, so excuse me. The last letter on the last letter I did, the last podcast I did, which is called Family Tree, more like a family traffic jam, was about a young lady who was dating her mom's ex. And we have a follow-up letter on that, and that's gonna be read um soon. That's gonna be the next episode. So now I got a lot of downloads from that one. I got a lot of a lot of positive, a lot of positive came out of that podcast, and there was maybe maybe 25% that was negative, you know. The 25% that was negative was just people's like saying, Well, she can date whoever she wants to date because clearly the mother and the boyfriend's not together, and you had a lot of people, well, like I said, maybe that that small 25% that was on this young lady's side saying that what she's doing is right. Now, I beg to differ because I don't see how anybody could date your mom's ex, especially since he knows he's known you or you knew of him, or she didn't really know of him, but and then he had a foul on her. So, that episode is coming up, and I want to say to my listeners, I appreciate you guys um listening, I appreciate the feedback. Um, I love it all, and again, if you don't like what I have to say, that's fine, it's not a big deal. I'm not gonna go ham on you. If you feel free, you want to email me, say anything that's that you that I disagree with. I'm I'm good with that. I'm so good with that. As I said, I have a a co-host coming on, she goes by Queen, and I'm gonna drop her links in my description on my I'm gonna drop the links in my description so you guys be sure to follow her. But I hope to have her here next week as I read. Um, well, I have another letter too, but this one we're gonna do because this is gonna be much more anticipated than the other one. Because I think a lot of people that have been emailing me about this saying, oh my god, I can't believe that this has happened because there are some people that are going through the same similar situation, you know. I mean, is it disgusting? I mean, could anybody you guys do that? Could you date your mom's ex? And I guess I'm talking about the females. So the mother had a daughter, long story short. The mother had a daughter, the daughter went out and hired this PI. The PI used to date the mother. Now, she fell in love with the PI, she poured her heart out with the PI, but things didn't stop there because the PI had a litter of kids. You know, I don't want to say litter, that doesn't sound right. Let's just say he had a lot of kids, and he's got one on the way, and he has one on the way. This episode, this podcast is so freaking long that I think it's um, as I went through the email, I think it came out to be about six pages, so it's gonna take some time to get to that. So if you guys want to join me tomorrow, and I'm going to read that, and we're gonna go from there, and I welcome all the criticism. I want it all because there was a lot of there's a lot of people that were kind of disturbed about the letter, and then most of the people, most of people were on like my side, they're saying, like, well, I don't think she should have done that, I think that's disgusting. I think she should have just called it off immediately because you know, how could you date somebody that was screwing your mother and now you're screwing, and now he's screwing the daughter? That's disgusting. And she was young, so when the mother was dating him, he actually knew the daughter when she was in high school, and I thought that was kind of sick. I thought that was kind of disgusting because I don't see how anybody could not think that's disgusting. I mean, what the hell? But apparently he's a ladies' man, he's a Casanova, so I'm so tempted to read this letter tonight, but I'm not gonna do it tonight. I'm gonna do it tomorrow because it's just gonna be much anticipated. This download, I mean, I got like maybe 35 downloads off this thing, and then I got like a lot of listeners, and a lot of people are saying, like, oh my god, this is just really effing disgusting. And I don't know, maybe we don't hear enough about this stuff. You know, we used to see this stuff, I don't know if any of my listeners can relate, you see this stuff on Jerry Springer, you know, but it's just crazy, you know, because I don't think I could ever do that. I mean, that's like my son and I dating, I'm dating a girl, and then I'm not dating no more, so he's gonna date her. I don't think I could do that. I I really couldn't, I couldn't, because that's just kind of disgusting to me. That's like saying that maybe this person has like something like they want to stay in your life, so they gotta go to your child to do that, or I don't know, that's just sick to me. That's just disgusting. But as we get ready to close this podcast out, I want to say thank you to my listeners. Thank you for the ones that's writing the letters, and again, you guys can feel free to follow me on all my social media links. I'm on Instagram, I'm on Facebook, I am on TikTok. I'm still trying to work out the live thing with TikTok because I'm getting a lot of people saying, Oh, you when you're gonna go live on TikTok. I don't know because I can't really stream multi-platforms. I mean I can, but I have to be on a subscription towards the site, which I'm currently looking at, currently looking at, but I try to do buzzcasts and twitch, but Twitch didn't really work out so well. So I'm trying to find a platform that can stream everything on my podcast if I just go to one site and I can just stream it on all. So, yes, I'm looking for those right now, but yes, I'm going to try to find that, and I'm working on that. So, if you're a listener of TikTok, I'm coming, okay? I'm coming. Just give me time. Still trying to work this shit out. In any event, I want to say thank you to my listeners. Thank you for you guys that are joined me here on Buzzcast today. And um, we're gonna get ready to close the show out. And I just want to say that thank you again. So, I am the icon. The show is called Let's Talk About It. Until the next time, tomorrow, hopefully, y'all take care now. Right now, just wanna let y'all finish off this trap. I'm a trap. This track is called Hook Shot My Paul Point. Oh, it's all good. Any event, y'all take care, y'all have a good one. We'll do this all again tomorrow.